Through the storm | Sequel to "Take me to church" Jonathan Toews and Danielle Campbell

"I love you baby"}Chapter 9

Stephs pov:

As I looked out over the lake. Here in winnipeg, I begin to take in my surroundings. My new life. Now that I'm childless and married to a hockey player.

See when we were all talking later that night, after boating I gave him a new type of formula. I didn't know that it was positions. I gave my child poison. So I knew something was not right. I was coming to check up on him since he was so quiet.

I walked in and saw blood dripping down a little bit from his mouth and his eyes closed, his chest not falling or rising. I remeber screaming, for dear life. I screamed my lungs out. I remember falling to my knees and grabbing my chest. everyone came in an instant. My tears raspy, and my lungs on fire as jonathan held me in his arms. Him trying to be strong. I saw a few tears shed. Andree, jonathans mother crying while David and Bryan his dad were comforting her. The police did everything in a few hours.

I remeber the conversation between jon and I later that day.

"Babe..this is not your fault" he said trying to calm me.
" I was the one who gave him it, so I did this to him" I replied looking out the window.
"You can't beat yourself up after everything you do steph" he says kissing my head.
"When you have lived in my shoes for the first few years of my teens. You would understand" I say.
"Stpehanie. Look at me. What happend in the past doesn't define who you are. Forget all of that. Who you are in the moment is who you are" he said looking in my eyes, as I looked in his. "Just know that I love you" he said. "I love you" I replied.

Now that I look back, I remeber how much pain jon and I went through with sean. Even though we found each other again, it was hard.

" Darling.." Jon said coming up next to me. "You ready?" He asks and I nod.

We walked towards the cemetery. We both wanted Sean buried next to tires ancestors because well,he is a toews for crying out loud.

The priest started and I instantly tuned him out. I didn't want to to hear. I was in too much pain. Either parent can do a little speech and Jon decided to take what I wrote and read it aloud. This morning I flaked, and he was there.

"Sean exvier. The sunshine of my wife's and i's life. Everything was focused and surrounded by him. He brought much happiness to us,as well as others. He could light up the room with just one grin. He was supported by so many people,if I was somewhere on the road and steph was shooting someone would always be there for him. So thankyou to those who helped us out." Everyone nodded. "We won't forget who he was. We could never. We could never replace him. No one could give us such pure happiness as he did,but I assure you we will find happiness once again. In not only each other but with a young one. Some day in the furture. Sean exavier mommy and daddy love you so much. Thankyou for the pure laughter and tears of joy you gave us in such a short amount of time."
Tears came from me as he said "mommy" and "daddy"
"That was so sweet" Andree whispered making me smile. "Thankyou" I smiled and she nodded.

Everyone walked up dropping a flower. Any color,and any type. He was a magical and colorful person. He brought a new type of color and perspective into our lives. All of us that he touched he changed and sparked something in them.

For me not giving up on him. Yes, I am 23, but I'm not 16 Anymore. Yes at one time i was not fond of having a child,but now I realized  how much I enjoyed it. I missed it. I ached for it. Being motherless for 3 weeks kills me. 

Jon took my hand and I looked at him. He gave me a soft smile. I brought my rose, while Jon took up a daisy.
He dropped it first.
I dropped mine whispering "I love you baby"

As everyone left jons and I's all year round house here in Winnipeg I began to lose myself even more. I couldn't quite catch a grip on things. I kept sayingh the wrong things. Picking up everything wrong. You name it. As Jon closed the door one last time. I took one of the glasses I sat down and threw it against the grown.

"Steph!" Jon yelled running into re kitchen. I threw another glass. He grabbed my hands. "Steph! Calm down!" I start  to hit chest he wasn't fazed.

"Gahhh!!" I screamed. Finally growing tired I stopped and just cried. Jon pulled me in and kissed my was and said "everything will be alright stephanie. I promise" he whispered.

Earlier the next day, I was awoken by knocks on the door. I sat up and looked at Jon sleeping peacefully. I put on my robe and slippers and went to the door.

I opened it and saw my best friends and cast.

"Steph" they all screamed.
"Hi guys" I say opening the door motioning the to come in.

Charles

He smiled warmly at me and thy all settled around the kitchen table as I showed them.

"I'll be right back" I say going upstairs.
"Jon" I whispered. Not judge. I whispered again. I kissed his cheek. His chin. His jaw Bone. As I went to kiss him. His eyes were string right at me. "Well goodmorning" he said in his raspy morning voice.

"We have some visitors" I said. He nodded then went to go back to sleep. "No. No. You have to come with me" I said pulling him up. As I did I fell on top of him, when he pulled me. So now I sat upright on his lap.

" Come on...there's someone there. I don't want to see him." I say.
"Him?" He asks. I nod. He gently stands me up. "Well let's get changed and get down there" he said kissing me and smiling.

As we got ready jonathan kept teasing him, as did I.

"Hi guys" Jonathan said going down first. I smiled.

Ok stpehanie you can do this. Your strong. And Tuff. 

I walked down the stairs calmly to the kitchen.

"Hi guys, sorry I thought I'd change" I said. They all nodded.

Jon said something to make everyone laugh. As they were all talking, I went to the garage to grab paper towels. As  I was turning I bumped into something.

Charles

"What do you want Charles?"I asked coldly. "I want to make sure your alright" he said grabbing my arm. I jerked it away. He looked  confused by my sudden behavior. "I know your acting out of sad-" I cut him off. "YOU THING IM SAD?! DAMN RIGHTS I AM! OH AND BY THE WAY IM ANGRY AT YOU!" I yelped and started to walk back. "Why are you angry at me?" He asked. "Why am I upset. you slept with me! You took advantage of me! Just like Mark! I never want to see you again" I scream the last part and walk back to the kitchen. They seemed to not notice.

Damn, these walls...

I grabbed a water and sat down with everyone else, and planned to forget what has happend.

It was around 4 when everyone left. They came by making sure I was ok.

I turned around to jonathan and looked down. "Steph. What's wrong?" He asked walking towards me and taking ahold of my arms. "I yelled at him" I said. "I finally told him. But I do have to see him again sadly" I say. He nods. "Well let's forget about that" he says kissing me. I loved his kisses. They've turned into passionate and kind kisses.

I pulled apart. "I'm sorry I don't want to do anything..I'm tired I'm say. He nods picking me up making me giggle and walking towards the bed. He tucks me in and kisses my head. He leaves after that.

Jonathans pov: (ay. What's up)

I drove the car back to cemetery. I know it's only been a day, but I need to see it one last time before I leave to train. I got out and walked through the "Toews" family line. I looked at my grandfather and great. My 2 uncles and aunt. Oh, how I miss them so. Finally, I got to my little boy.

I just stood there and thought about all the good times.

"I'm sorry shawn but daddy has to go now. He won't be back for a bit. I'm sorry I can't stay longer, just know that I love you baby"

//

Awe. This sucks like shit. I'm sorry