Kellin Quinn is My Father

T W E N T Y - T W O

I woke still on the couch. Thank god. I got up on notice Kellin on the ground. Okay. Weird. I got up and walked to the kitchen. I walked to the freezer and grabbed some waffles. I put three in the toaster and went upstairs to change clothes. I through on sweatpants and a tank top. I walked back downstairs, Kellin still on the ground sleeping. I went back in the kitchen seeing Rowan eating my waffles. "Those were mine you know." I said.
"Well there mine now." He said. I rolled my eyes and grabbed more waffles.
I put them in the toaster and waited for them to pop up. Once they did Liam came out of no where and took them. "Once again, those were mine." I said.
"Not anymore." He said with a smile.
I went back to the freezer and got more waffles. I was about to put them in the toaster when I hear Kellin shout "Shit!"
I ran out of the kitchen. "What?" I asked.
"Where did you go?" He asked.
"I went to the kitchen to make waffles for the third time." I said. He looked confused. "I made waffles then went upstairs to change clothes and went back to the kitchen and see Rowan eating them. I put more in and when they popped up Liam came out of nowhere. Now I think they popped up this time." I then walked back into the kitchen. Liam and Rowan started eating my waffles. "That's it." I then walked back up to my room. I took a quiet shower and got dressed. I put on black skinnies and a white tank top. I walked back downstairs and grabbed the car keys and grabbed Kellin.
"Where are we going?" He asked.
"To McDonalds so I can get breakfast. Everyone is eating my waffles." I said. I walked outside to the car and got in. He got in on and I started driving to McDonalds. We got there and I went inside. I order two sausage mcgriddles and an Oreo Frappé. I got my food and went back in the car. We drove home.
"Raven?" Kellin asked.
"Yeah?" I said still driving home.
"Were you serious when you said you were somewhat happy to have me as a dad?" He asked.
"I was happy for you to be my dad for two reasons. One is that you were my favorite singer other then Vic. And two, my mom would always be in the hospital. I thought is I had a father I would finally see what the world has in store for me. But every time I trusted you, you would scream at me. I would feel like you life is way to perfect for me to be in it. I felt like you would just leave." I said.
"Really?" He said. "I didn't know."
"Trust me when I say, I am good at hiding my emotions. I always have. Once my mother's doctor told us she had cancer, I know I had to hide my true emotion." I said. Not once looking at Kellin. We pulled up to the house. I turned the car off and just sat there. "Look Kellin, no matter how hard I tried showing my emotions, it is hard for me. I would show them to people and they would think I am weak, I am worthless. That's when they leave."
"Raven. I will try my hardest to keep you here with me. I for some reason take in more responsibility with you, then the other kids. I just don't want to loose you now. Katelynne even points out my mistakes. I just need to work on it." He said.
"And I believe that you can. I heard what you said in the hospital Kellin. I was a ghost, I saw everything. I had a choice. I could of died that day, but I chose to give you one more chance. But what I have to realize is that my mom is always with me, I just don't feel it yet, and it has been almost three years. But right now, I will like to eat." I said. I took the bag of McDonald's and went inside. Kellin following me.
I went to the living room and took the remote from Rowan. "HEY! I WAS WATCHING THAT!" He shouted.
"I also made waffles for me. But you know, we can't have everything we want." I said with a smile.
I sat down and ate my mcdonalds and watched CSI: Miami. After a few episodes I finished my breakfast and coffee.

Awhile ago, the rest of Sleeping with Sirens walked in. I handed Rowan the remote back. "Here. I need to talk to Kellin." I got up and threw away my garbage. I walked upstairs to Kellin's music room. I knocked and I didn't hear anything, but music playing.
I walked in. I heard Kellin working on something and I didn't know what it was.I stood by the door. He then saw me. He walked out of the recording booth. "What are you doing in here?" He asked.
"Well first, I am suicidal watch, so the real question is why are you in here and not watching me?" I asked.
"True, but I don't think you will do that anymore." He said.
"You never know." I said. He looked wide eyed. "Kidding. I am not going to do it." I then walked out and went to my room. I heard a knock on the door when I just got on Twitter. I got up and walk to my door. "Katelynne? You never knock on my door." I said.
"Suicidal watch." She said.
"Right. Trust I am fine. I won't do anything. I promise." I said.
"Okay. But if you need anything I will be downstairs." She said. I nodded.
I went back to my laptop. I was scrolling through Twitter. After about 20 minutes, I got bored and went to my painting wall. I just looked at it wondering what to draw. I grabbed a pencil and start drawing. I was going to draw my mom and me on my thirteen birthday.
I went downstairs and saw everyone. I went to the kitchen and grabbed a chair. "Raven? What are you doing with a chair?" Justin asked.
"I'm short. I need to get up high. I'm not using my desk chair. Bye." I said. I went back upstairs and closed the door. I started painting.

*Kellin's POV*
"I'm short. I need to get up high. I'm not using my desk chair. Bye." Raven said.
"Do you think she is going to do the thing?" Katelynne whispered in my ear.
"No. She said she wasn't going to do it." I said to her.
"Well she could be lying." She said.
That's when I was thinking. She did say I the car that she hid a lot of emotion back then. I got up and ran upstairs. I opened her door and saw that she was painting. I heard her chuckle. "You thought I was going to hang myself. Didn't you?" Raven asked.
"A little." I said softly.
"Like I told you. I wouldn't do it. I might of hid a lot of emotions back then, but after losing my mom, living with my grandparents, and leaving my friends and you guys. I realized I had a family that actually loves me and friends that do. I might hide emotions now or then, but I won't hide the fact that I am sad." She said. I said nothing. "Did Katelynne think I was lying about me being fine?"
"Yeah. She did." I said.
"I had to get the chair because I wanted to get to the top of the wall." She said. She pointed to the wall. "I wanted to draw my mom and me. I wanted a memory of her. Plus I couldn't think of anything else to draw."
It was amazing. "That is amazing Raven. How do you manage to do this?" I asked.

*Raven's POV*
"This is amazing Raven. How do you manage to do this?" Kellin asked.
"I don't know. My mom was my inspiration. She was my motivation. I feel like if I have her with me or something with me always, I will be motivated no matter what happens. But I'm not done. I have one more thing to add." I said. I got back on the chair. I grabbed my pencil and wrote LOVE IS FOREVER in fancy lettering under the picture. I then grabbed the paint and out lined the letters. I then picked out one color and painted in the letters. I turned around and I see Liam, Rowan, Katelynne, Kellin, and Sleeping with Sirens in my room. "Finished."
"Those are some of our lyrics." Kellin said.
I looked at the lyrics. "It was her favorite song." I then turned to him. I had tears in my eyes. I got off the chair. I ran over to him and hugged him. I started crying in his chest. "I miss her."
"I know you do. I know." He said calming.
"Why is it so hard to get over it?" I asked.
"Because death ends a life and not a relationship." Kellin said.
I just started crying even harder then before. "It's hurts me so much. It will never go away. It can't go away from me." I said threw the sobs.
"Shh. It'll be okay." He said. He walked me over to my bed and just sat down next to me. "You'll be okay. Never think anything less of that. It'll be fine. Shh. Calm down." He words were calming. I soon drifted to sleep.