Adopted by Luke Hemmings

Chapter 22

*trigger warning*

Collin's point of view

"Collin, do you want to come shopping with me? We need more toilet paper, water bottles, washing detergent, and I need more conditioner." Michael said and I shook my head.

"You sure? You'll be home alone since the guys are about to leave to pick up some new clothes for the dinner with our boss." He said and I nodded.

"Actually? You need to come with me. I have to talk to you and I don't want you home alone." He said and I looked at him. "Who knows what you'll do if you're home alone."

"Oh, I'd expect you to know." I said bitterly as I scrolled through my notifications on twitter, following some really nice people.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He asked and I rolled my eyes. "What's with the attitude? You're acting like a brat right now." He said.

"Well sorry for being mad when someone read my personal journal without me knowing or saying they could." I snapped and he looked at me shocked that I knew this. "Oh, and to top it off, wrote a song using some of my exact words."

"I did not use your exact words." He said and I scoffed. "I just... took the idea..." He said, unsure of his answer.

"Oh, okay, so if I read my journal the lines, 'see a match I wanna strike it', 'now that I'm broken, now that you know this', 'I got a jet black heart', 'I write with a poisned pen', 'I'm holding on for dear life', 'the blood in my veins is made up of mistakes', and 'dive in to the dark', won't come up within the first ten pages?" I asked him. "That's like half of the song Michael!"

"Look, I just wanted to know what was going on okay?" He said, trying to get off of the 'I wrote a song about your personal feelings and didn't tell you' case. "I wanted to make sure you were really okay."

"No! There's no excuse!" I said. "I tell you guys when I'm ready to talk about it and you know that! I don't need people snooping through my things and invading my privacy! That doesn't make me trust you!"

"I just wanted to know what we were dealing with Collin. Depression? Suicidal thoughts? Self-harm? Anxiety? Anything else? I just wanted to know deeper into it so that we can get you the help you need. Obviously you can't just stop, so you need professional help, a shrink." He said and my jaw dropped.

"I don't need help! I don't want help! I am fine!" I said and slammed my phone on to the couch cushion. "I am perfectly fine. I'm not crazy, only-only crazy people need professional help."

"Collin, I don't care what you want. I don't care what you have to say. It's for the best, trust me. All the guys and I agreed that you're going." He said and I stood up. "We just want you to get better."

"No! I don't need therapy! I don't need therapists and counseling and stupid exercises to help me open up. I don't need that. I'm fine. I will be fine." I said, whispering the last lines quietly to myself.

"No, I know you need therapy because I do and I'm not half as bad as you are!" He said and slammed his hand down on the counter harshly, making me flinch at the sound. "You need to get better and you obviously cannot do it by yourself!"

"Who said I was alone?" I yelled and stood up. "Who said I was by myself? I have Kayla! She believes in me and she tells me I can do it! That's all I need! I don't need hour long sessions with some ignorant adult who thinks they can treat me like a baby just because they're not fucked in the head." I said and flinched as he raised a hand to punch the bride of his nose.

"You have the wrong ideas of therapy! It isn't that bad! Uncomfortable at first yeah but it's fine after awhile!" He yelled at me. "It helps Collin. It really fucking does and you're going."