Deep Regression

Im Not Letting You Walk Away From Us

My shoes slapping against the marble floors and my heavy breathing echoes down the empty halls. Room 105, room 105, room 105.
I'm having serious second thoughts about staying, It's getting worse as I get closer.
I pass by rooms 80, 81, 82, 83, 84... Until I hit room 100, I start to slow down.
101, 102, 103, 104, here it is 105. The doors not shut, so I slowly creep in and hear nothing. I turn to my left and see Hailey and her Mom sleeping on a second hospital bed. It's probably about nine thirty right now, so I don't blame her.
Then my eyes land on the other hospital bed, and there's a body laying sound asleep on it. Peter.
My feet just go without my thinking and slowly I tiptoe to an empty side of the bed. The shoes on my feet automatically slip off the heel and onto the floor. He doesn't stir, so I gently lift the blanket up high enough for me to crawl silently in.
He kind of gets more comfortable as I try to lay down.
Then he flips over and faces me, eyes closed, arm underneath his head, and terrible overtired skin. He's been worrying about me.
I can't help myself though, just laying next to him isn't enough, I need to touch him. I need him to touch me.
My fingers trace over his lips and I wait for any sign of him waking up. None.
So I lean in and gently kiss his lower lip, hoping to stir something in him.
No movement, but I won't give up, so I continue to kiss him.
"Mmm, I was worried about you." He pulls away and mumbles.
"Peter...You shouldn't worry about me, I was scared to death about you...I can't imagine what I'd do if you-" I choke on my words as tears begin.
"Shh." Peter pulls me in for a hug and I cry into him.
"I can't live without you, don't you understand? I can't." I sob into him.
"Selena, I won't leave you, I promise."
"Today was my-"
"Accident, we didn't intend on this happening, but it did. Just a freak event...It wasn't you."
"Peter, don't lie to me."
"Selena, I'm fine, got a couple of stitches, but fine."
"I'm so sorry, I never wanted any of this to happen, and I'm sorry with what I have to do next."
"Next?" his eyebrows scrunch.
I actually really thought it all through while I was running to him.
"I have to leave you, and I'm not coming back." I can't look into his brown eyes.
They're too bright to spare me.
"Your Joking?"
I lean in and give him the best last kiss I can. How much passion can you put in one kiss? About as much as a jug of milk. How much passion can you put into a Moment?
A dump truck amount.
How much can you put into a relationship?
Not even possible to measure it.
He pulls away and holds me even closer, locking me in place.
"This is goodbye Peter."
"This is hello Selena, I won't leave you, not when you've done so much to me."
I kind of laugh at that.
"Ya, nothing but get you stabbed."
"NOTHING, but love, care, cry, and run to me. Nothing but give me the true you, and let me peel your layers away to the secrets of your past. Selena, if you leave this hospital bed, you'll break me, and I won't bear the pain."
"Peter..."
"No! I will not let you leave me, I-I-I can't let you leave."
"I'm so sorry!"
I cry harder into him as I feel something wet crawl down the side of my face.
"Selena, tell me that you love me."
Peter's actually crying. I broke him to the point where he's shedding tears! OH MY GOD I ACTUALLY PUSHED HIM TO THE POINT OF CRYING!
"I do, I do, completely!"
"Then why are you going to leave me?"
"I can't let you get killed because of me!" I cry out.
"And I can't live without you! If you leave me, you'll kill me. Selena, please, Everything is fine! Kevin's put away, and whatever happens happens. But I refuse to let this happen."
"Pete-"
"I know you feel guilty, but don't...this isn't your fault. It's Kevin's."
"Tell me that you want to spend the rest of your life with me."
"Selena, I want to wake up every morning to see your curled lips, I want to fall asleep with your beating heart, I want to live with your smile beside me, and die with your eyes staring into mine. That's how much I want you to be with me, and I want you, I need you."
What am I supposed to say to that? Oooo, Peter I love you too?
I just curl more into him and wrap my arms around his body, never wanting to leave like that or to leave. period.
He was right, and I knew it, but something is eating at me...I can't put my finger on it.
"Tell me That you want to be here, in my arms, and in my heart." He whispers.
"I need to feel the security of your skin around me; I need your heart to connect and glue to mine; I want a silver band around my finger and have our kids jump on our bed every morning for the rest of our lives. I want to watch our grandkids play in the front yard and our kids sit beside us watching them. I want so much from us, and I know it's going to take time, but still...I want it."
My eyes look from his meadowy scented neck to his eyes.
Peter's eyes said it all. How much what I said meant to him. How much he wanted that too.
"Your my one, Sel. You know that?"
"Mhm, Same here Pete."
"Pete?"
His lips quirk up into an amused smile.
"That's your name."
"Why is that my name? Why not...OhPete-"
"Shhh!" I cover his mouth only to hear him mumble it.
He licks my hand and I wipe it down his skin.
"Ick!" I whisper.
"You don't want my Mom to know that we sle-"
"Shh, Pete, you know that I don't."
"Selena, she's just going to find out our wedding night."
"I know but everyone finds out that night."
"Mm, So instead of just one person finding out, it's more comforting to know that a whole mass of people have?"
"Uh..."
"Sel, she won't care, she'll ask if we've been using precautions, which have, and then tell us to be careful."
"I know, it's just so personal."
"She's my Mom, She knows just about everything personal about me. Hell, she knows who's I lost it to."
"Im just not ready for her to know, I would feel...dirty...around her."
"You'll get used to it though. I felt embarrassed and almost uncomfortable when she found out, but I got used to it. I'm comfortable now with her knowing."
"I guess..."
"I won't tell her, but just remember this when it comes after our wedding night."