Deep Regression

Peter...

We sit next to each other in the car, and I no longer feel a million miles away from him. This is too insane! What am I doing?
His hand brushes over my own and slowly holds a grip around it. I suck in a breath. Oh God.
He smiles widely and continues to watch the road.
Why does he do this? I don't get it. He doesn't contact me for months and now he's back in my life?
"Sel, Your hand is freezing." He teases and shivers dramatically.
"Shut up, It's not cold."
He chuckles and takes a tighter grip on my hand.
"The hell its not."
I can't help he rising smile, the rising warmth, and the rise of my feelings.
"Where are we going?"
"Someplace special, where you've constantly asked me."
I try to think hard and honestly...I don't have a lick of what he said.
Peter drives the rest of the way in silence and only hand touches.
The car pulls up the driveway and I turn to look at him.
"Ready? I know your going to love it." He opens his door and hops out.
Are you? Ready?
I open my door and feel the changing winds at the nap of my neck. The heat was bearable, but I'm just here to hang, not stay. Stay...stay...
Peter comes around to my side with worry.
"Are you okay?"
"Uh...Ya...I'm okay." I swallow my nerves.
"Okay."
He cautiously reaches out for my hand, but I can't let him have it. My feet back step before my mind takes a step.
The pain evident on his face as he watches my hand lay limp at my side.
"Alright then, let's go on."
He leads the way up the staircase and to the bright red front door. Beautiful stained glass decorated the sides and in the middle. I love it.
With the sound of his key being pulled out of he lock I'm reminded of the time when I went into our apartment and he was with another girl. So heartbroken back then, yet dead right now.
"This is our honeymoon gift from me. I thought that once you said I do, you'd want a place of our own. So I got constructing."
"You-You-Built this house?"
"Ya, It took a while."
Peter stands in the entrance hallway with his hands in his hair.
"You mean...You planned on marrying me a while back."
"Your the one Selena."
"Show me more."
He smiles warmly and leads me into the beautiful kitchen. The slick black stone countertops, bar, and island. I was in heaven.
"Oh Wow." I gap in awe.
Then my eyes land on the mahogany table with matching chairs.
My hand slides across the shiny wood and I shiver as Peter's breath flows on my neck.
Shifting my blue eyes to the open space to the left, I notice the living room. A nice soft white carpet, a soft black rug with matching a love seat long and wide enough for the both of us to lay comfortably. He thought about it all. All the complaints I made about our apartment taken into consideration to make our home...his home now.
"Want to see the next room?" He softly whispers.
"Okay."
His hand slides down my arm and to my wrist. God it feels good!
I watch and follow as he opens a door next to the table.
Looking inside and I see the guest suite. A nice comfy bed and dresser. Then in the far corner is a door to their bathroom.
"Next." I whisper.
He spins me around and leads me through the living room and into another hallway.
The walls all white and a couple of picture frames, empty from any pictures though. Almost like a ghostly feeling.
I watch as the door in front of me is opened and reveals what I believe is the master suite.
A plush bed fit for a king, a bathroom door, a closet door, and two long dressers on either side of the room.
Transparent white drapes long against the beige walls.
"This is our Room." He smiles and shoves his hands in his pocket, as if nervous.
I walk inside the monumentous room and look up at the completely glass ceiling. Beautiful.
The gliding of my feet couldn't be helped. They just walk right into the bathroom and see a Victorian bathtub fit for two. Mmmm...
A tiled shower and a toilet in the corner.
I turn to the right and see a wall length counter. Two beautiful glass bowl sinks with drawers labeled his and hers.
I was astonished, Words couldn't express what I felt, what I ruined.
"Ready for one last room?"
I nod, unable to speak and feel his hand pulls me out of the room and into the hallway.
"You did amazing, I-I-Love it all."
His smile widens and kind of saddens and I can tell that this isn't the last surprise.
"I-" He chokes.
Oh my, what have I done to him? He doesn't try to talk, but he leads me into the room a little further down the hallway and opens a white door for me.
There was sunlight coming out, and I was nervous about that.
"Please, enter." Almost like he was begging me to.
My feet walk in and my eyes widen, all oxygen went out of my body. I walk in the center of the room and look through all of the photos on the walls. There were more boxes in the far off corner, drawings on the floor, and of course...letters.
The click of the door silent as I spin around the room looking at the photos.
"I-I-"
My eyes land on a stuttering Peter. His hands shoved in his jeans and his eyes tearing up. I miss his smile already, I miss his bright eyes, I miss him.
The black of his shirt contrasting the white door.
"Pete?"
He wetly chuckles and I'm consumed with sadness.
"I nailed all the photos of you and I on the walls. Probably-A-a-bad idea, but I couldn't help it."
His hands run through his hair and he crumbles, I'm so sorry.
"I wrote, but never sent the letters. I drew you, as if you could be beside me in paper. None of it satisfied me like you actually being mine did."
"Pete."
"I Miss you so Goddamn much, please... come home, live with me. I don't know what I did or didn't do, but I know that Im in love you and I can't live without you. We can take it slow again, Date, move in, and whatever comes after that." He tears run profoundly and he tries to say the words.
"Peter, It's okay, hey, hey, shhh."
I walk up to his broken body and begin wiping his tears away. Poor Man, being broken by me.
"Selena, I need you, please don't leave me, please just come home. Be mine."
It was so sappy, and heart filled. I'm still in love with him, that's one of the reasons why I didn't sleep or be with anyone else.
"I need to be in here for a while."
He lets me go, slouches, and slides down the wall.
I get to work and pick up a book of letters from him to me. Reading them aloud as I go, because I need his reaction.