Graffiti Casanova

Not Dry After All

I burst out laughing. I couldn't help it.

Jared crossed his arms and glared at me. Davey didn't say a word, but his eyes were worried. Probably because he knew how much I wanted to punch Jared in the nose and was wise enough not to put it past me.

Finally Jared rolled his eyes. "Stop. Just... stop. Will you do it or not?"

I stared at him, laughter squashed like a bug. "Oh, you're serious."

He shifted his weight, biting his lip again.

"Yeah."

I tensed, eyes narrowing. "I just figured you were joking because anyone with half a brain would know that after that stunt you pulled, there's no way I'd do you a favor like that."

Jared's hands covered his face. "Oh my g--"

"Jared." Davey's warning was steely this time.

"What?" Jared snapped, turning on Davey. "She's doing it again. Always quits before things can go somewhere--"

"She is right here," I glared at him.

He kept going as if I didn't exist. "Always gives excuses of why she can't give one hundred percent, and I'm sick of it."

"And now she is leaving." I spun and headed for the back door.

"Claire, stop." Jared's voice was rising.

"No." I yanked it open and stepped out into the large alleyway that led to the parking lot.

"Think about someone besides yourself, just this once."

I froze, not believing what I was hearing. "Excuse me?" I turned to face him. My response was quiet but it was buzzing with electricity and I knew he could tell what was under the surface of it.

"You need to back off, man." Davey's normally soft voice was only slightly louder, but he may as well have been shouting.

"No, she needs to listen this time." Jared shook off Davey's hand and stepped forward, his eyes flashing, finger jabbing the air in front of my face. "Because last time, you cost us a lot."

My mind couldn't formulate a response; I could only stand there, glare locked with his.

But something seemed to register within him then-- probably the fact that he needed me and not the other way around-- because he stopped and took a ragged breath, hand dropping and shoulders slumping as he tried to calm down.

He started again, spreading his hands, tension boxing in his voice. "I'll leave you alone. But don't you dare just refuse to do this without thinking about it. Yeah I want you to do this for me. Maybe that's selfish." He shrugged. "But don't quit again, Cee, don't hold back. Do that for yourself."

He turned and walked back inside, letting the door fall closed behind him. I stared at Davey, still unable to tune into a specific thought amidst the buzzing and shouting and blind anger in my mind.

It was a while before he spoke. He'd always known it took me a while to cool down. He was always so patient, just his presence could calm me.

"He's right, you know."

I looked at him like he had just announced that he was the fairy prince of Neverland.

He shook his head, and a jet black strand of hair fell over his eyes. He brushed it away with long, pale fingers. "He's wrong about most of it. But you do tend to hold back."

Davey made his way down the steps, out of the ring of light from above the door which haloed him like some sort of delicate, tattooed, beautiful angel. He was one, I decided as he sat on the bottom step-- my angel. Sam's.

Davey kept speaking in that quiet voice of his. "And you shouldn't pass up this opportunity just because you're mad at Jared." He looked up at me and tapped the cement step beside him.

"Can I ask you something?" he said as I swung the guitar off my shoulder and sat next to him.

"Shoot." I leaned forward and propped my elbows on my knees, staring at the grey brick wall across the alley.

"How did it feel tonight?"

There was a pause as I thought.

"Like losing him all over again."

He didn't say anything, just waited, like he knew there was more.

"And... like closure. Freedom. Like it was just me and him in the room." I turned to look at Davey, and he was watching me with a tiny smile on his lips.

"I saw you give everything you had tonight, Claire. Now I won't let you hold back again."

Cas brushed his fingers over the brick, tracing the lines that were still visible beneath Sirena's slash. How long had it been? At least ten years, he knew. Eleven? A lot could happen in eleven years. Running that long had made Space Lovers into a landmark-- until Sirena slashed it this week. It had been his first real piece to get noticed, spiraling him into the world of crews and rivals and thrilling art. It was over for him after that. There was nothing else for him-- only street art.

The grey moon peeked out from beneath Sirena's bright yellow letters and taunted him. He hadn't come out at night like this-- alone, just to look-- in over a year. There hadn't been a point. He was stuck, nothing had been able to get him out of the rut. Not even the stupid shrink Mark had suggested. He'd simply poured out all he had, and now he was dry.

He'd told himself it was okay. He'd had a good run. Five minutes of fame, or whatever. He could move on with his life and do something productive.

But tonight, he saw someone bare her soul onstage. He'd felt like he'd stumbled across something that wasn't meant for his eyes, something intimate; she was somewhere else when she sang. No one else was in the room. She poured herself out onstage in the V bar downtown in front of whoever would listen, and to Cas it felt like drops of fresh water on dehydrated lips. It wasn't much, but it was more than he'd had in a long time and he latched onto it like a lifeline.

He wanted that. He wanted to be that. And for the first time in a year, he was beginning to believe he could.

Cas lifted his can to the wall, and after a second of hesitation, crossed out Sirena's slash with his own. Maybe he wasn't dry after all.

Hit that star if you're glad Cas is back!! :D Chapter song is Promise by Ben Howard.