Endurance: my ninja way

Prologue

Once again, I'm standing at that swampy site in the dark of the night, surrounded by the demons of my life. Infront of me, is the person who means the life to me, by best friend, my support in life, the only difference is the immense shock on her face, like she's been hit by a lightening blade, eyes bulding out, lips apart, speechless. Only that I noticed, her chest, not breathing, but pierced.. by a lightening blade, my lightening blade. The last time our eyes meet, and then, there's nothing. The big brown orbs simply staring ahead, without a trace of life in them. The eyes that filled my breezy frozen barren existance with warm humid flickers of life, of hope, now stood before me, abandoned, lifeless, hopeless.
My body froze, my fist leaves the huge gap where the world's most beautiful heart used to be, my hand covered in the dark horrifyingly black blood. The lightening blade, still bright, piercing, sharper than ever, even after severing the soul from my body. The world goes blank, just the last flicker of moonlight, and those eyes still reassuring me. My body goes numb, Rin's body fell, and after a moment, so did I.
Its been 9 years since this tragic night and it still haunts my my dreams, nights and days, nothing's save. And again i woke up, all shaken, sweaty. I ran to the wash basin trying to get that blood off of my hands, rinsing untill my hands are raw, still after 9 years. Though, my hand looks no different than I do, pale and shaken. If only I could sever this torturous piece of meat from my body and survive this ninja world... if only i had the luxury to give up and let go. But nature had never been this kind on me, I can not stop suffering life, I can't let go. I must survive or the promise my friend took from me after saving my pathetic life and before loosing his own under the boulder that squashed the life out of him before my very eyes while i stood there all helpless, useless. Out of two I've already failed one of them, I let Rin, the most precious person in his life, his ultimate love, I let her die, or more likely killed her. He only asked to protect her and this is what I did! Now i can't just let the other promise fail as such too, I have to keep his eye saved. Yes his eye, he gave it to me after i sacrificed mine to save him, before he closed his own forever. Obito, he bounded me to this curse of life. I wish it was me under that boulder, not him. If only life would be so gentle on me! But now i have to survive, after the pillers of my existance left, I have to soar, supportless. No friends, or family. That is my destiny, so be it.