☼The Summer of Harry Styles☼

Chapter 10: Remedy

Again, I apologize if the storyline is confusing. There is so much editing going on in this book, so please just bare with me. Previous readers, there has been major changes to the writing after I realized a lot of it was way too dramatic. xxx

Status: Edited

Harry's P.O.V.

After watching the way she ascended those steps, I grabbed her drink and food off the coffee table and headed upstairs. I assumed she was in her room, the wooden door at the end of the hallway, 'her sanctuary' as she called it.

I feel horrible for what I've caused. If I never acted that way at the club and-

It was one night.
It's in the past.
Everything is okay.

She doesn't answer when I knock on the wood, so I take it upon myself to walk in and the sight frightens me a bit. She stares blankly at the wall, and she is eerily quiet. I thought she would have been crying but this is Ashley, and I know that she doesn't have that type of reaction.

"Hey." I say loud enough to try to get her attention and she repeats the same word back but much, much quieter. "I brought you your stuff."

"Thanks." There is no emotion behind her words and I'm left with nothing to comment back on. My pockets are stuffed with my hands as I shuffle towards her window seat, where she is currently sitting. Her eyes move to gaze outside when I block her view from the wall, and I desperately just want her eyes to meet mine. Before I can say anything she finally speaks, but won't make eye contact. "Can I ask you something?"

"You just did." I chuckle, but fail to amuse her. She doesn't say anything until I actually answer her. "Sure."

"How were you in the past month?"

I wasn't expecting this question at all and I clear my throat, trying not to give away how nervous I am.

"Please be honest." Her voice cracks and I lick my lips before speaking.

"I..." I look at her face before continuing which is contorted in regret. "In all honesty I was a wreck. I tried to focus on music, but other than that, I rarely spoke to anyone or left my room during the day. I was always drinking, to let the pain wash away. It made me feel numb for a while." I can see tears forming at the sides of her eyes but I continue. "Louis he um... he tried to get me out of my room when I was drunk to actually talk, but I would get angry and break something or punch a wall. I cried all the time, and I couldn't control my emotions. I didn't know what to do with myself, I was lost really."

"I didn't know what you were hurting so badly." She bites her lip and pulls at her sleeves, a red Lifeguard sweater holding her form. "I'm a horrible person."

"You aren't Ash, you were hurting as well. We both have our own ways of coping, babe." I take her hand in mind, and the touch is so foreign, but it somehow feels right.

"That doesn't mean that how I cared was okay either. I'm so sorry, Harry." She clenches her eyes shut and squeezes my hand, my heart warming at the gesture. "Did you ever sleep with anyone when you were drunk this last month? I feel stupid for asking, but I just-"

"You aren't stupid. And no I didn't." My hand reaches up to run her shoulder, and it seems as if a weighty has been lifted from her chest as she breathes deeply. "Did you?"

"No, I didn't." Her eyes finally meet mine and I'm met with a cloud of green, so indecisive with every emotion she is feeling.
"I'm sorry for pushing you away, Harry. I understand now that was just a form of protection and that shows that you care."

Her voice is wavering and my ego isn't tainted by any of her words, if anything it is lifted. To know she understands from my perspective makes me beyond estatic, and I still can't wrap my head around how I've gotten so emotionally invested in someone that I only met two months ago.

"Thank you for understanding. Is there a reason why you reacted that way?" I tilt my head a bit, and her hand retreats, making me flinch at her small intrusion. She looks away and back out of the window, making me feel like I've hit a nerve.

"Uh, I've had a pretty bad past Harry. There's a lot of things I haven't told you." She looks down at her fingers and toys with them, and I want to grab her hand again.

What hasn't she told me? We've been texting for the last few months off and on, and I've thought I've learned most about her. She didn't exactly go into detail about a lot of things, but I figured later on she would tell me more.

"The main reason I pushed you away was my father." She whispers and I'm confused even more.

"Wait what? I thought your father passed?" I say it gently, not meaning to trigger anything.

"He did. But when he died, I barely let anyone into my life. Ever since then, I've been afraid of loving some one new in my life, only for them to be ripped away from me. I was afraid that if I got too close, I would just be heartbroken again. I haven't had the best relationships in the past either, and I don't want this to end up like a disaster." Her voice is monotone as she speaks and somehow I find myself holding her hand again.

"I had no idea. I know what you are saying, but I promise you, that you can trust me Ash."

"How do I know that? How do I know that in the future you aren't going to leave me or get abusive or-" She begins to ramble and I find my hands gripping her cheeks lightly, making her look directly in my eyes.

"I'm not that type of guy, baby. I swear, I will never become abusive and I will never leave you even if we have the biggest fight this damned world has seen, I will stay by your side no matter what disaster is thrown at us." My words are so sincere, her eyes tear up and I wrap my arms around her, comforting her mind. "You can tell me anything, I promise I won't judge you, and I promise you, we will get through this, okay?"

"Thank you." Her voice is so small, but my heart warms at the small crack of it. Her finger nails dig into my back and I take in her scent of vanilla and strawberries, loving the aroma.

This is what home is.