☼The Summer of Harry Styles☼

30. Indescive

Harry P.O.V.

I stretch my arms and sit up when I feel a surging pain through my head. It's really dark in this room and I can tell its nighttime. I rub my hands over my face and step out of the bed, wondering how I got here in the first place.

I grab my phone off the nightstand and use it as a flashlight, so I don't trip. I yank open the door , just as I hear a huge clap of thunder. I jump a bit and look down the hall. This house is pretty creepy when its dark.

I make my way down the hallway and turn , walking down the stairs to see the living room dimly lit. Carly and Zayn have fell asleep on the couch and so have Niall and Natalie, but on the floor.

I hear faint talking in the kitchen and press my ear against the wall. I hear El and Lous voice, but no sign of Ashley. I shrug and walk into the kitchen, to see Ashley sitting on a stool her head in her hands and bandages on her wrists. Oh no... earlier.

"Hey guys..." I say, avoiding eye contact. Louis stops talking to Eleanor and turns around, his eyes widening a bit.

"Hey Haz. How was your sleep?" He asked, stepping toward me a bit.

"Fine.. um, if you don't mind me asking, what happened?" I asked , scratching the back of my neck.

"Zayn knocked you out. " I heard Ash say next to me and I turned towards her, shocked she actually talked to me.

"But why-"

"Because you hurt me. My wrists. And Zayn didn't like it." She cut me off. She stood up from the stool and left the room, rolling her eyes. I furrowed my eyebrows and looked at Louis in confusion.

"When.. how.." I tried to make out words. but I didn't exactly know what happened.

"You and Zayn argued upstairs about how your not supposed to lay a hand on a woman and he got anger that you hurt Ash and that you weren't listening, so he punched you. He did it by accident, his anger took over. He didn't mean it, but the hit was so hard he knocked you out." Louis explained, taking a sip of the mug he had in his hands. I looks at Eleanor and she looked disgusted with me.

"Well its not what it seems... I was just trying to ... I don't know what I was doing but I was so mad at her... I guess I just cornered her.." I tried to explain, but nothing was making sense.

"That's not a fucking excuse. You lay one more finger on Ash and so help me Harry I will-" Louis clamped a hand over El's mouth to stop her from talking.

"You should really go apologize mate." Louis told me shaking his head. El removed his hand from her mouth and crossed her arms.

"But how? We just fought this morning and I don't even know what to say anymore." I explained, rubbing my temples.

"Just speak from your heart. El , go in the living room so I can talk to Harry. " He told her and she walked out of the kitchen. I shook my head in frustration and pulled at my curls.

"I don't know what the fuck to say to her, I don't know what the fuck to do, I don't know how the fuck to act, fuck right now I don't how to do shit. She makes me so fucking confused and angry but thats what I love about her. She just makes me so angry sometimes... it just makes me even more crazy for her." I explained, sitting at the counter.

"Harry-"

"No Louis! I-I can never describe how I feel about Ashley Marie Benson. I can never say the fucked up things she makes me feel which I shouldn't, but she makes me feel loved. I don't know what the hell she has done to me or if I'm under her spell, but she doesnt understand how I feel without her. It's the whole week without her.. that week I felt like utter shit. It was like she would never want me back and now I know she won't. I've been such a dick to her this past week...

When she left me, I became darker.. I don't know who I was and I still don't. Since I've met her .. I have changed. I can't even think straight when I'm not around her. It's unexplainable, I know, but I'm totally and utterly in love with her. I really need her and if she leaves me for good, I don't know how ill react.

But if I don't get back together with her.... I won't eat, I won't sleep, my brain will only be focused on her. The way that her head throws back when she laughs, the way she bites her lip when she is nervous or frustrated. The way she tucks her hair behind her ear whenever I make her blush. The way she gets angry at the little things I say to be annoying and her nose crinkles. The way he lips mold perfectly with mine and the way that she holds my hand, sends tingles up my spine. Nobody ever had that effect on me, not even Natalie. I don't know what's so special about Ashley, but she's my world and I don't know what'd I'd do without her." I finished, shaking my head. Louis smiled at me and looks behind me. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion and looked behind me, to see Ashley looking at me. Her eyes were wide and I looked back at Lou.

"She was there the whole time. Now , that was speaking from your heart." He smiled and walked away leaving me dumbfounded and I stood up, straightening my posture.

"Uh, how much did you hear?" I asked Ashley. I can't believe I just poured my heart out in front of her.

She smiled and shook her head, waking toward me.

"Everything." She stated. She had that gleam in her eye that only shows when she is extremely happy. "You really do love me do you?"

"Yes I do. And I'm so sorry Ashley, for everything. I'm sorry I yelled at you downstairs, I'm sorry I hurt your wrists , it was an accident. Im sorry for being a dick and not listening. And I'm sorry for making you feel like shit. I'm so sorry ash, so sorry. I just love you and I don't really know how to show it." I told her. She was a few inches away from me and she smiled again.

"I think you just did Haz." She laughed looking at the floor. "And Thankyou, I accept your apoligy. That whole pouring your heart out thing, was probably the most beautiful and sweet thing I've ever heard. And I love you too. A lot." She blushed.

"Well, what happens now?" I asked her. I honestly had no idea and I'd do anything to win her back.

"How about... we just stay friends for now and see what happens?" She shrugged, putting her hands in her sweater pockets.

"If that's what it takes.. just to be close to you... then okay." I sighed. It felt like all the stress that was on my shoulders was immediately lifted and I smiled at her. She smiled back and something slipped out of my mouth that didn't mean to. "Friends hug right?"

"Yes, they can." She answered quickly. She walks forward and pulled me into her embrace , and I could smell the strawberrt shampoo in her hair. I smiled against her head and she squeezed tighter.

It was nice to have her in my arms again. And I'm sure she felt the same way.