Behind that poker face

Chapter 2

Realizing that I was not on my bed the next morning was definitely a mood wrecking but waking up in her own bed was something good.

I slowly opened my eyes, expecting to see an angelic face but I was welcomed by emptiness. She wasn't there. She wasn't sleeping next to me.

She brushed softly her finger tips over my fallen bangs then on my right cheek and whispered, afraid to wake me up: 'Thank you ... I'm sorry ...'

Was I dreaming ?

I lazily pushed my head off the pillow, messed my hair with frustration and rubbed my sleepy eyes to look around the room. Same place, different feeling. She wasn't there.

I sighed and let my feet drag me to the living room, hoping that I would find her cooking some breakfast for both of us or even watching TV after ordering something. She wasn't there either.

"I feel horrible for her. Leaving a stranger in her own apartment with no food. Shame on you, Han Jieun." I sarcastically talked to myself while opening the refrigerator but when I closed it, I noticed there was a hand written paper . I took it off and read it : 'Good morning Mr.Kim. I am sorry, I had to go. You may leave when you wake up. Thank you for last night. -J.E- '

Mr.Kim? Thank you? Haha. So formal after such a long night, aren't you Han Jieun? I guess I will never understand you.

I crashed the paper with my hand and threw it in the trash but I missed it just like I missed my target this time. I will never put Han Jieun under my hands again. I suddenly remembered what she said when I was sleeping 'Thank you. I'm sorry.' Why did you put two different sentences in such way? So frustrating.

To hit two birds with one stone, I decided to stay for awhile: hoping she would come any time to check up on me and at the same time hoping to know some hidden parts of her in her house.

No picture of family or her husband was hung on the wall nor put on a side table. No flower was put on a vase. No sound of a car, a bird, kids playing, old ladies bragging. Everything was dead, just like her personality.

I got back to her room where we spent a wonderful night, a night to never be forgotten, a night with the assistant manager that no one in the office could bother. Will she remember us in that bed every time she goes under the white blankets? She won't and that's obvious. She had few makeup products on the dressing table, one bottle of perfume and that was it. Are you even a woman?

But what attracted my attention was that ring. A simple ring, looked like wedding ring, put on a hidden picture. I took the ring, looked closely to it. Not that expensive but definitely beautiful. That picture though, was a picture of her and a man. That's her husband, right? The most important question was : That's her, right? She looked different. She looked happy. She was actually smiling from ear to ear. Aren't you the confusion itself?

Sunday morning, totally ruined.

I couldn't stop thinking about her, not even a second. The way she smelled, the way she talked, the way she whispered, everything about her made my mind go crazy. The way we kissed, the way we touched, the way we made love, It was not something normal. She confused me.

I drove back to my house but I didn't enjoy any minute there, thrown alone in such a vague place. I used to go out, meet up with friends, go visit my parents at home, but this Sunday was different: I was staring blankly at a wall.

"I'm not your enemy." She said.

"You're not. I know." I replied.

Han Jieun, why did you give me a glimpse of hope that I was your friend yesterday?