Two Can Be As Bad As One (Hikaru x Oc x Kaoru)

Chapter Thirty One

As planned, I spent the anniversary at home and alone. I had a purple candle lit for her and pictures of us arranged on a table with a playlist of her favourite songs playing.

It's been one whole year and I'm still missing her with all my heart. I wish Mother and Father cared, it would make today so much more special. They never shed a tear when they realised she died. By suicide, nonetheless. Their own daughter, dead because of them. They should be ashamed.

I felt her there with me, by my side as always. I felt safe, whole again, but only for a brief moment. Kaoru did a very good job of filling the void but nothing can compare to Rinda. She was, always has been, and always will be my family. I'm not saying I love her more than Kaoru, I love them both just as much as the other. But its hard. It's hard to live without her.

We were always so dependant on each other. Always there to comfort and care. But if she was still here, would we be in Japan or another part of the world? The Japanese culture didn't seem to appeal to her. She was always into America and Hollywood.

She was a huge movie fan and dreamed of being an actress. I think that was one of the things that kept her going for as long as she did. And I am eternally grateful and thankful for the little time we had together.

We were both so young. I wish we had a little more time or that she could die a less painful and horrific way. At least it was quick.

My leg buzzed because of my phone in my pocket. It was a text from Kaoru.

Where are you? Everyone's here x

I didn't tell him because I didn't have the nerve to say I didn't want to go. After all the effort, if I said I'd rather spend today alone, Kaoru would follow me and the party would be a waste.

Me: Home. I'm not in the mood... Sorry x

Kaoru: What's up? You can tell me x

Me: Fine but not over text. Come over x

It didn't take long for him to show up. I'm sure I looked a mess when I opened the door. I most likely had red eyes from crying.
"Hey, what's wrong?" he asked softly and I shook my head, not answering as I let him in. "Is it something I did?"

"No, nothing to do with you." I replied, standing in the middle of the floor. I couldn't be bothered to sit.
"Then what?" he asked. I pointed to the little memorial I made with the candle and pictures while another tear slid down my cheek.

"I-I had no idea. Today?" he asked, understandably surprised. "Why didn't you say something?"
"I didn't have the heart. Not after what everyone put in." I replied as I rubbed my shoulder. Kaoru got closer to the memorial and looked at the pictures.

"You could've asked to move the date." He chuckled. "She was a beautiful girl, it's a shame."
"Where's everyone else?" I asked.
"At Boss'. I told them I'd try to convince you to come but that doesn't seem likely." He said, still admiring the pictures. I shook my head. "November 13th." He mumbled.

"It was a Friday." I said. "Friday 13th." I'm not superstitious in any form but this was some freaky coincidence. Kaoru scuttled over in his crutches to where I was, and sat on the couch. I've noticed his foot gradually healing by how close to the ground he places it. He can manage the whole foot now.

I could move my wrist much better than before, but still have two weeks and three days left to go.
"You can at least spend today with me." He smiled with open arms, welcoming me onto the couch. I couldn't resist but to take up his offer.

We cuddled for the most part with a few kisses here and there but all in silence. It was better than chatting, a respectful silence for her. It was a bad idea to be alone today. Kaoru being here is much better.
"Would it help if you told me about her? What she was like and what not?" Kaoru asked softly.

"I don't know..." I replied, rubbing my eyes. "She was the biggest part of my life and the reason I even continued living. I was afraid to leave her so I didn't..." I confessed before sniffing up my runny nose. "I miss her so much, Kaoru!" I cried into his shirt as he rubbed my back for comfort.

"Let it out, it's fine." He smiled gently and I obeyed. I cried out every last tear I could find and to be honest, I did feel a hell of a lot better. Not completely cured, but yeah, better than I was.

We were silent until the candle fully burned out and Kaoru was the first to say something.
"Y'know, Christmas isn't far away. I've seen a few decorations here and there."
"I've always enjoyed Christmas. We used to secretly go to stores and get each other gifts we bought." I smiled at the memory.

"Me and Hikaru always do that too." He said. "How's your arm, by the way?"
"Better, thanks. I take it your foot is too?"

"Yeah, bit by bit. Do you want to do anything for Christmas?"

"I don't know. It'll the first one I've spent without her. Maybe something small?"

"Fair enough. Me, You and Hikaru?"

"I'm looking forward to it."