And In Return...

Second Guessing

It was light outside, the late morning sun shining through the dusted windows in Derek's room. Stiles hadn't planned on staying the night but it sort of just happened. The last thing he remembered was lying underneath Derek, kissing him for hours. Now he awoke entangled in him, resting on his stomach with one leg slabbed over the wolf's own. Derek had been awake for a while, simply enjoying how Stiles clung to him during the night and pressed their bodies together when he required warmth. Now the precious boy was stirring, lifting his head from the pillow. He looked tired, like something major happened prior to the dawn. And it did, Stiles too found it unforgettable, looking at Derek as he turned on his side.

At first the wolf said nothing, staring nervously at him. Stiles let slip a dank sigh, hand covering his forehead, "Son of a bitch."

Derek's heart sunk, worried that the boy regretted what they did, "What?"

"This wasn't supposed to happen." mumbled Stiles, hand dragging down his face.

The fragile-hearted beta swallowed, trying to form the best response that would convince Stiles to stay, "But it did."

The teens eyes closed, stress and indecisiveness fogging his retinas, "God, this is a disaster."

Derek watched Stiles roll on his back, looking up at the ceiling in remorse, "Stiles, you wanted to."

The boy scoffed, not needing the reminder, "That's the problem."

"How is that a problem?" Derek asked, knowing that deep down he must've enjoyed it, "We didn't do anything wrong."

"God, Derek!" Stiles exclaimed, frustration lacing his tone, "The whole thing was wrong." he sat up, unclothed back and chest seen from the slipping sheets, "I shouldn't have even came over here."

"Then why did you?" inquired the wolf, sitting up on the bed as well.

"Because I- I wanted.." Stiles trailed off, eyes locked on his nervously twisting fingers.

"Me." Derek stated, receiving the boys squinted stare, "I could tell as soon as I saw you."

Stiles put his hand to his head, knowing there was no use in denying that, "So you just let it happen?"

"Stiles, c'mon." Derek scoffed, trying to capture the boys eyeline, "You know how much I wanted last night to happen, you can't expect me to turn it down."

Stiles was quiet for a moment, knowing that Derek had craved his body for a while now, there was no way he'd reject when willingly offered to him. The cold-skinned teen looked back at Derek, realizing that he'd wanted last night to happen as well, it wasn't one-sided, "Look I know it isn't fair to you but- but I can't, what happened last night will never happen again."

Derek's eyes sunk, sensing how much Stiles returned his desires. Why did the boy insist on lying to himself? "I don't understand." he said sadly, "We both know what you want-"

"But I can't have it." Stiles interrupted, refacing the bedroom door, "And I won't."

"Why not?" Derek questioned once again, beginning to get agitated himself.

Stiles inhaled, glancing back cautiously at the saddened wolf, "What am I supposed to tell Scott and my dad? I just-"

"That's what this is about?" Derek's voice echoed in the boy's mind, followed by a scoff, "You don't wanna be with me because you're worried about what people will say?"

"My dad doesn't even know who you are," Stiles said, knowing that their relationship wasn't just morally wrong, it was illegal, "and Scott doesn't trust you."

"Do you?" Derek asked simply with a stern glimmer in his eyes "Do you trust me?"

Stiles looked at him, flashes of last night rebounding across his brain. He replied quietly, "You know I do."

"Then who cares what they think?" Derek scooted closer to the conflicted teen, his hand beginning to stroke Stiles' exposed back, "We're the only ones that matter in this."

The boy closed his eyes, drowning in Derek's soft caress, "I- I just don't want them to know, okay?"

The beta sighed, wishing Stiles wasn't ashamed of him. Their foreheads pressed together, "Then they won't, alright?"

Stiles nodded, lips managing to find Derek's in record time. It felt like they hadn't kissed in ages- like they'd been pulled apart by some invisible force for years. Derek's tongue found it's way to Stiles' and suddenly neither had anything to worry about. Fears, both childish and reasonable, melted away leaving them lost in each other's touch. But good things didn't last long, Stiles had learned that the hard way. So he wasn't very surprised when a doubt crept in, corrupting their moment of passion. Derek's arm wrapped around him made it impossible for Stiles to pull away but his head faced down, lips tearing from Derek's.

"What?" asked the concerned wolf, fearing Stiles would have more reasons they couldn't work out.

The boy shook his head, forgetting about one small detail, "You're still leaving."

Derek forgot about that, too scattered in his ventures of last night. His lips pressed together, looking down at Stiles guiltily, "I have to tell you something."

"What?" asked the boy, emotionally preparing for something that would hurt.

Derek breathed out, corner his lips curving, "I was never leaving."

Stiles immediately pulled back, staring at the wolf in shock. His mouth opened to say something but he didn't know what. Stiles wanted to be mad- furious with Derek for lying to him but there wasn't even a spark of anger in him.

To the unsure beta's surprise, he smiled, shoving Derek's chest with his arm, "Ass."

Relieved that the boy wasn't at all infuriated with him, Derek chuckled, pulling Stiles with him as he laid back down. He landed partially on top of the wolf, looking down at him happily. Stiles' hand rested on Derek's firm chest, analyzing how his pale skin contrasted with Derek's. They were so different but seemed to fit. Obviously their relationship wasn't flawless, taken by how they came to be but it felt right. Stiles smirked, realizing one day, that just might be enough.

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