The Thoughts That Weren't Suicidal

22 | Swinging Party

"If being wrong's a crime, I'm serving forever. If being strong is what you want, then I need help here with this feather. If being afraid is a crime, we hang side by side" - Swinging Party 

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My leg bounced up and down as Kris and I sat in the waiting room outside of Tabitha's office. Unlike me, who was practically rattling with nerves, Kris had this calm and almost excited look glazed over her. What kind of psycho gets excited about a therapy session? I'd rather die than have to do this twice a week. Then again, I'd rather die than do a long list of things.

Like live for instance.

"Adrianna?" The devil called out, opening the door to her office. Over the past few years, I've actually considered not calling Tabitha the devil. Mostly because I'm fairly certain that Tabitha is a worse person than he is.

"Come on Adri," Kris whispered to me, standing up from her seat.I stayed cemented in place for a few moments, and Kris paid me the courtesy of giving me a few moments to breathe and not pulling me up from my chair. However, the look she gave me before she got up told me that she will if she needs to.

I've made Kristina very aware of how much I strongly dislike Tabitha; she got a whole lecture about it on the car ride over. And because Kris is wholeheartedly Team Adri, if I don't like somebody, then she doesn't either. At the same time though, Kris knows that I can be just a tad unreasonable when it comes to my judge of character, so she's giving Tabitha a chance.

Which is fair because two weeks ago, I truly wanted to chop Kristina's head off, run over it in a monster truck and feed it to the alligators, but now I actually kind of enjoy her face. But this is worse-than-the-devil Tabitha we're talking about here. She doesn't deserve any chances.

Don't worry Adri, Kris isn't stupid; She'll see how terrible that woman is. What if she doesn't though; what if she just thinks that I'm crazy? Well, this wouldn't be the first time that has happened.

I unenthusiastically followed behind Kris as she greeted Tabitha.

"Hi, it's nice to meet you! You must be Adrianna's friend. I'm Tabitha." Just the sound of her voice makes me want to jump off a cliff. Preferably one with a lot of sharp spikes at the bottom.

"I'm Kristina, but you can call me Kris." Kris returned the greeting with just a hint of falsetto that made my heart swell. No one knows how to be Team Adri like Kris does.

If Tabitha had heard Kris's falsetto, she ignored it and then turned her attention towards me.

"It's nice to see you Adrianna." Do you know what would be nice? If you just spontaneously burst into flames. That'd be great.

I grunted in response and rolled my eyes, looking away from her. The last thing that I'm ever going to do is be polite to Tabitha.

Or at least that's what I thought, until Kris delivered a light smack to my right thigh, and turned around to give me a small glare. I threw it right back at her, but I heard her message loud and clear.

I rolled my eyes and gave Tabitha a dull stare."Nice to see you too," I responded with the least amount of emotion that I could muster.

Kris seemed pleased with it though, and this time gave my thigh a small squeeze of appreciation. I rolled my eyes in response, but then gave her a small smile when she wasn't looking.

My body has given up on trying to hide the fact that seeing Kris happy makes me happy. Of course, Kris can never know this though or else she'll never let me live it down.

When I looked back up at Tabitha over Kris's shoulder, I saw that her eyes were bouncing between Kris and me with a calculating gaze.

There's an encyclopedia worth of things that Tabitha can do to me, solely because she is my psychiatrist. She can tell my parents to lock me in my room for a week because I'm "unsafe for society". She can ban me from flying with my family for Christmas vacation because she doesn't trust me with the airport crowd. She can send me away to the psych ward, without giving me a warning.