Petal

Three

It's been a few months since I first saw and followed Gerard. I went to the café almost every day. It's not like I have anything to do. I almost never had jobs. He didn't notice me at all, some how.
The second time I went to the café to see him went the same. Me watching him, then following him home only to see him either feel disgusted of his body, or to just completely ignore it. I've seen him cry so many times.
I noticed he didn't look in mirrors often, only to fix his hair or something.
The 5th night I saw a paper on his desk, I'm guessing old schoolwork or maybe he writes, I don't know, but it had his name on it.
I only had to stare at it for 5 minutes before I put the letters together. Gerard Way.
He was an amazing artist. I saw him draw and sketch and paint many times over the past two months. He draws very gory, dark stuff. But sometimes, you can catch him painting beautiful and scenic flowers.
I found he takes medication. I don't know what for. He seems really nervous some times. I can tell When he is, he hugs himself and breathes unevenly or plays with his hands.
Maybe anxiety? His sensitivity- his insecurities- maybe depression?
He has a habit of cracking his knuckles, chewing on his lip, and I saw him smoke, like, once.
He speaks out of the corner of his mouth and doesnt make much eye contact at all.
I knew, after watching him for so long, all of his flaws. He smiled and laughed but underneath I could feel this ache he had. This soar spot in himself that he couldn't get rid of.
I was slowly growing obsessed with this poor boy. All I wanted to do was learn more about him.
Learn about his past.
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I decided I would speak to Gerard.
I'm not sure when, or how, but I will, when the times right.
What would I say?
Will you go on a date with me?
That sounds about right. I don't ask people on dates, though. I'm not a romantic person. He'd probably be scared of me.
I just want to stare at him for hours, observe him, take him in.
I want him.