Petal

Seventeen

I hope this is okay

It was late in the evening. I had just woken up , yet again, to my men yelling and arguing.
I couldn't yell so I decided to get up. I grabbed the pole that held the tubes and bag, disconnecting my finger from the heart monitor, and standing up. I grabbed the key to his room that they left on my nightstand, realizing that i should probably change my clothes and bathe but I brushed it off. My legs felt like jelly and I almost immediately got lightheaded.
I pushed through it and began walking out of my room. My vision went dark for a few seconds, before it was revived and I was blinking rapidly, rubbing my eyes as I made my way in to the hallway. I immediately decided I'd go check on Gerard first.
I knocked, waiting for him to answer.
"I'm opening the door" I said through the door, my voice raspy and low.
He was just laying there doing nothing, looking out the window at the forestry.
"Bored?" I pulled the mask off. I don't think I needed it, though my voice was definitely going to be raspy for a few days.
He looked sad, guilty.
"What's wrong?" I muttered.
"It was my fault" he said, his voice quiet, soft, breaking eye contact.
"No, it was my candle, and you would've gotten hurt. I've been through worse than this, don't worry" I stared down at him. He nodded, looking back up at the bandage that wrapped around my chest.
"They said its minor" I reassured him, shrugging.
"Im just going to let you know that there will be people here for the next few days, and following my recovery I won't be here for two weeks or so, until late. I've got my company, and some other things to worry about at the moment. I've hired a maid, a long time friend to take care of you. Her name is Lynz. She'll make you dinners and such when I'm not around" I said, staring in to his piercing greenish hazel eyes.
He just nodded, taking a deep breath, staring at the ground.
He look terrified at that.
"Is there anything you want?" I said. His big eyes were getting watery under his hair.
"I-I uh..can buy you flowers, any food you want, whatever clothes you want, sweaters, gloves, hats, Comics, records, CDs, anything." I said, staring down at him.
"Gerard?" I whispered. He ducked his head further and I knelt down I front of him.

-

That night I went to Gee's room later at night, seeing he was surprisingly still awake, watching batman cartoons.
"Gerard?" I peaked in, walking towards him. He looked up at me nervously.
"Frank, you-uh.. You don't have to b-buy me things" he said quietly.
The records and books and stuff that lasted the fire were neatly propped on his desk, alongside the record player as well.
"Too bad. Most of your clothes didn't last the fire. Do you want to order some online?" I said and he didn't answer, shrugging shyly.
"Okay, well, I'll just go get my laptop" I muttered, grabbing my Mac.
I came back in to his room and sat at the end of his bed, patting the spot next to me.
He slowly crawled towards the spot, leaving a gap between our thighs.

I had to admit, he had amazing legs.
He had an amazing everything.

I pulled up some clothes websites and turned to look at him. He was staring at my tattooed arms before our eyes met.
"U-uhm" he stuttered, looking away quickly.
A small grin spread over my face and I began looking through the band shirts.
"Any you want?" I said.
"I-I don't know" he said quietly.
"Come on, help me out here. Any that you've been wanting?" I sighed.
"What you mean, before you kidnapped me?" He muttered back. My smile dropped and I looked away.
I clicked on an iron maiden one, adding it to my card, before I then added some Morrissey, Bowie, Metallica, etc.
I bought them all and moved on to sweaters.
Based on what he had I bought a few, one a sherbet, pastel orange, others shades of rose and pink. I then ordered some jeans, knowing what size he was comparing to myself, before I had bought all He needed. I crossed my arms, sighing.
I turned to look at him and he had ducked his head.
I sat up a bit more.
"I don't think you're going to like me because I'm buying you things. I don't think you're going to like me at all."
He stared down at his hands in his lap, ducking his head farther, turning it away from me.
I pondered on what else he would like.
he turned to look at me.
"How-how long did you stalk me before taking me?" He asked quietly.
I didn't answer. I couldn't answer. I didn't want to. How would he react?
He didn't look away and I forced it out of myself.
"About- about five months? I think, I-I don't know" I sighed, ignoring his slightly horrified expression.
"What el-"
"Did you watch me change?" His voice broke. I turned to look at him and there were tears in his eyes.
When I didn't answer he brought his hands to his face.
"Oh god" he sobbed, pushing away from me once more, like before.
"It-it wasn't like that" I tried to reassure him but he couldn't hear me over his own crying.
"Gerard" I closed the laptop.
"Gerard!" I grabbed his wrists, holding them in front of him.
"Please don't cry. It wasn't like that. Not once. Yes, I did see you undress but I only ever thought you were beautiful." My voice fell to a whisper.
"Don't fucking touch me" he shook his head slowly, looking disgusted, his words coming out breathy and at the edge of a sob.
That was the first time I felt anguish in a long time. I let go of him and had to take a moment.
He didn't want me to touch him, he hated me. This was never going to work.
He pushed back against the wall, pulling his knees up.
I felt a lump in my throat and I took a shaky breath, picking up my laptop and leaving before he could see me cry.
I made it quick to leave, closing the door gently behind me.
"What was that a- Frank?" I heard Jims voice turn bewildered.
"What happened?" He looked back in to Gerard's bedroom, who was probably crying in to his hands.
"Leave me alone" I said, before closing the door to my room behind me. It was empty, quiet, and sorrowful.
I spent years in this quiet mansion alone. It was enough to drive me crazy. Maybe it did. Maybe that's why Gerard hated me.
I laid down, throwing my laptop anywhere. I rubbed my teary eyes.
This was all a mess.
A horrible mess.
That i created.
I had torn the petals off of my beautiful flower.