To people who leave: {petekey} (editing)

October 3rd

What happened October 3rd still haunted Pete.

By this point Brendon knew about the letters, but Pete still wouldn't let him read them

All their other friends knew too. No one did anything. No one knew about this mysterious person. It baffled them all that these things were being said to Pete.

The letter came that day too.

What was inside was what mattered though.

pete...

my life is a bit of a sad story and i'm sorry for what you're about to read.

i'm sorry.

it was a cold day. it rained and everything was dark and gloomy. everything was dark and gloomy, the skies, according to my best friends my eyes resembled the sky that day. they didn't know what they were talking about though. wasn't i happy? maybe so. somewhere in me i swear i was happy.

i just couldn't see it yet. i had to walk home. my route home always stayed the same, from middle school when i started walking i walked past the high school and home. if only i knew to stay to that.

it was november... somewhere at the very beginning of the month. maybe the second or something. i'm not quite sure, but i remembered walking home. i remember the roads were rushing with water and the gutters were doing their best to take it all in. so was i. but i meant more of the scenery. you see the route i took that day lead you down a beautiful neighborhood. the trees were pretty. everything was pretty. even i felt pretty that day. my hoodie was soaking wet by the time i got home. my mom wasn't pleased about that. she wasn't pleased about a lot of things that day.

they all seemed to be my fault. no one else had any of the blame. just me. and i took it. like one was supposed to do. you aren't supposed to backtalk your parents. they were also supposed to respect you. it was a thing i was pulling way too much weight on. trying to keep our family together like it was somehow the smallest, and youngest of the family's responsibility. you see, i loved my parents. and it hurt me when they argued and it hurt me when things got broken. i knew my mom didn't need anymore stress that day.

she needed me. that's the reason i took it. i let her push me around. she hated all people that day. my brother, my dad, even me. i was always her favorite though. she used to tell me it when i was younger. how one day she was going to take me and we were going to run away. she promised. she said i didn't need an awful father. but i didn't see my father as awful. i thought he was the best guy in my life next to my brother. that was ruined that day too.

my dad came home, somewhere around eleven. i remembered that it woke me out of my sleep. the yelling, but this time there was no feminine voice yelling back. it was my brother. he was yelling at my dad. he was crying and begging him and all i wanted to do was hug him. tell him that is was going to be okay. but i couldn't because i didn't know that. and i was sensible enough to know i didn't know that.

that day was the day my mom left.

she left for good.

i remember the police at our door. asking my father to identify the body. i remember my older brother holding me. i remembered wishing that i was little and i didn't understand what was happening. she couldn't be gone. we could have a mom one day. she could be bickering about how i took the wrong route home, and how i was dripping wet all over her perfectly clean kitchen floor and then gone. no mother.

that was the worst day.

it got better after that. my brother was quiet for a while. i guess i was too. no one spoke to me, not even to make some remark about my clothing. everyone treated me like i was too sensitive to joke around. the teachers didn't call on me. i became invisible.

my dad was always a heavy drinker, but i didn't think it could get worse.

you guessed it. it got worse.

it was a sad day, they were all sad when me and my brother had to take care of our father. had to take care of him when he was passed out on the couch.

i remember the day my brother lashed out on me. telling me i could've done something. i know he didn't mean it though. he loved me. he loved me like my mom loved me. how i adored my older brother, i looked up to him. i respected him and i knew things got hard at times. i let him be sad. it was okay that day.

the next day he hugged me and apologized. i acted as if it was my fault, because that's what he needed. he needed someone to blame, other than himself. i could be held accountable for him. he needed someone to be angry at. i let him be angry at me.

why wasn't it my fault. that day was okay too.

you see, people can only grieve so long. they can be sad forever but at one point you must realize it was no ones fault and you must move on. i had to move on from my mother's death. and then i had to turn around looking back at the people i moved on from and pull them with me. we had to accept it as a family. we were almost okay that day.

i think this is enough of my life for one day. like i said (or meant to) highschool sucks. no one cares if you are suffering. they only want victims. i was a victim.

"people are leaves, they can't stay forever."-s.y.k.

Pete wondered who this person was. Other than letter person or S.Y.K., they had a more personal name for them now. Strong.

If anything ever was, that in Pete's opinion was the definition of strong.

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