Paragon // z.m

21. A whole week.

He kept his promise. When she woke up, Harry and Louis were there. They explained to her what had happened, she cried, until she fell asleep again. The second time she woke up, only Harry was there, and she cried even harder. The third time she woke up, Liam, Niall, and Louis were there, and this time, she cried, then smiled, and laughed, before falling asleep again. The fourth time she woke up, it was time for her to go home, and she still hadn't asked the one question that had been roaming her head ever since she had regained consciousness.

They took her home, speaking of all things except for Zayn. She got home, and there was an unfamiliar bouquet of roses, with an empty card, and she knew. She knew it had to be him, but chose to deny it, because it couldn't and shouldn't have been him.

Harry stayed home more often. Louis, Niall, and Liam, came over, warming up to Harry, encouraging the relationship that was long gone. Gay jokes, blunt flirting, promising Louis that they were straight, Louis putting on a fully detailed presentation as to why they were secretly gay but didn't realize it. It was all as it always had been. All laughs, smiles, and love. And for the time being, the thought of him almost slipped her mind.

She didn't think of him that much, but she dreamed of him, almost daily. She didn't go to work for a whole week. She heard nothing from him or about him for a whole week. She didn't speak of him for a whole week. But then, she was holding onto Louis' arm, and they were both walking through the company, and she couldn't deny his presence any longer.

She didn't see him, hell, she didn't even hear him yelling at anyone, but somehow, she could feel his presence, and that alone, was enough to cause her heart to race, in anticipation, or dread, she didn't know. She didn't care either.

Louis guided her into the rehearsal hall, where the models were all gathered around, greeting her, telling her how much they had missed her, and how desperately needed she was. It was quite amusing to see Louis in his natural habitat, fixing lipsticks, stealing kisses, talking about the best way to cleanse the skin, or how his eyebrows were a growing forest, when they were more properly done than her own. She enjoyed Louis' presence. She was incredibly grateful for him, although, she refrained from sharing that piece of information, as she planted a kiss onto his cheeks, causing him to chuckle slightly.

She pulled away, laughing, genuinely, the way she had been a lot lately, but then her eyes caught a familiar figure, walking into the hall. Caramel eyes fell upon the decoration, the signs with her name on it, and then they met her own. For barely a second, before they shied away, and he disappeared out of the hall.

Her feet almost raced after him, the way they were so accustomed to now, always chasing after him, always failing to keep up. She caught herself before she could, or rather, Louis' unknowing speech, interrupted her, reminding her that she couldn't run after him anymore, because he knew his way so well, and his way didn't lead to her. It never did, and probably never would. And she had to be okay with that.

So, she stayed with Louis, as he showed her samples of the newly designed, but not finished, pieces. She helped the models who were told by Louis that they still needed her help. She helped take Liam's measurements, after he had tried on his first custom. She even had lunch with Niall, Liam, and Louis, in the office. Harry came at the end of the day to walk her home, and they held a conversation. An actual conversation that didn't involve him speaking about Harry Potter, or what his favorite author did wrong with the ending of his most recent reads, or global warming. It was a normal conversation, between two normal people, involved in a normal relationship. She found herself quite fond of the change that had occurred in her life. She was smiling more, laughing more, sleeping better, working better, and it didn't feel so impossible. Perhaps it never had been. Perhaps it had always been her, wanting something she could never get, loving something, or rather, someone, who could never love back, completely looking past all that was right there.

Harry. Louis. Niall. Liam. They were there. They actually cared. Unlike him. But it wasn't about him anymore. It never should have been about him. And now, she knew that.

He kept his promise. At first, he asked Louis about her almost hourly. Then, his questions diminished, the more repetitive the answers had become. She was fine. Just as he had wished for her to be. Then why did it feel like a stab to his heart, every time he heard that she was doing better? Maybe because he was proven right? Because he now knew, how wrong he was for her? Because he still wished he could have just gone to her house, and kissed her, and begged her to not give up on him? Because he was still selfish enough to get jealous when it came to her, even when he had no right to be?

Maybe it was none of that, maybe it was all of it. He didn't know. All he knew was that after a whole week of not seeing her, and then accidentally holding her gaze, he could have sworn he'd never be able to look away. But he had to, for her, so he did. A part of him -the selfish part- wished she'd follow after him, so he waited outside, for a minute or two, but she never came. And he realized that of course she wouldn't. And he shouldn't have expected her to, after all, that was what he wanted, right? And that was when the rational side of him, reminded him that he probably couldn't have been able to push her away again, he probably would have caved in, and he couldn't do that to her.

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A/N: a bit of a filler chapter to let you into everybody's head so I hope you enjoyed this :)

ily x