Paragon // z.m

37. "It's a good day."

" I don't want to do this, Robin." He whispered, with his forehead against her own, and their mouths barely brushing. She held him to her, attempting to persuade him to go home, sleep for a few hours, maybe change as well, since it had been almost two weeks since he'd been in the hospital, and he hadn't dared to leave his mother's side. She could see it in his eyes, in his inability to sleep, without waking up with a gasp, only to rush to his mother's bed and make sure that she was still there. She could feel it in the unceasing trembling of his limps. He was absolutely exhausted, and she could no longer stand by, watching it destroy him.

" I know, love. But even she thinks you need a little break from it all. Plus, we could use some girl talk, right, Trisha?" She tilted her head to face his mother, who weakly laughed, nodding her head with the little strength she could muster.

" See? Now move along. Don't rush yourself." She gave him a slight nudge towards the door. He sighed, turning back to his mother, and giving her a warm embrace.

" Call me if you need anything, ma. I mean it."

" Of course, sunshine. Now go take a shower at your own home, I love you, but that stink of yours, dear lord."

" Mum," He chuckled, leaning in, to press another kiss to her forehead, running a hand through her hair.

" You're in a good mood today. Feeling better, are we?"

" It's a good day, I think."

" Good, mum. I'm glad. I love you."

" Love you too, bub." He smiled, waving slightly, as he walked away from her, towards the door, by which Robin stood, with a sincere smile upon her lips.

" Take care of each other." He whispered, pecking Robin's lips.

" Of course. Get some sleep, Zayn."

" I'll try." He buried his face into her shoulder, breathing her scent in. He needed to capture how her figure felt in his arms, how she seemed to always radiate warmth, even through the coldest of all weathers. He needed to take every little thing about her in, because he'd miss her, and he didn't know why, but there was a dark aura of finality surrounding him, heaving his heart, tearing at his soul, but he chose to disregard it, blaming his paranoia.

" I love you, Robin. You know that, don't you?"

" I love you too, Zayn." She pulled away, taking his face into her hands, and kissing him again. He then took one final look upon his mother, who was always glowing, as she waved at him, with a smile that he'd never forget. He waved back, giving Robin's hand another squeeze, before walking away. She closed the door behind him, taking a seat by Trisha's bed, and it was still lingering with Zayn's warmth.

" Do you need anything? Would you like me to read for you, or maybe turn on the TV?"

" No, dear. It's quite alright. I think I'll just-" Her words were suffocated by a dry cough, as her eyes fell closed, for a bit too long, and her breathing grew rather erratic.

" Should I call in a nurse? Are you okay?" She nodded, although, her breathing was shallower than it had ever been, and the glow that once was to her, faded into a dull paleness.

" Trisha," Robin stood, prepared to call a nurse, but her hand was taken into Trisha's with a desperate tug, and she couldn't help but stay. She ran her hand through Trisha's hair, noticing how it seemed to soothe her, whenever Zayn did it. She stared down upon her, carefully watching the rise and fall of her chest, tracing every inhale and exhale.

" I needed him to not be here. He- his heart.. he wouldn't be able to bear it."

" Bear what, Trisha? You're alright, this is nothing, everything is going to be fine."

" I know it is.. because he- he loves you, Robin. I can tell. I see it in your eyes, that you love him too. So you'll make sure he's back to himself soon. You'll make sure he doesn't bury himself alive. He's going to suffer, and he- he's going to try to-"

" Trisha, please. Don't talk like that. You're okay. Please, just- hang in there." Her voice trembled, and so did her hands, but she forced a reassuring smile, as she continued to look upon the strong woman, slowly, fading away.

" He's going to try to shut down, because it's going to hurt. And he feels everything so severely, Robin. I know my baby. He's- he's going to blame himself, or you, or even God, but this is no one's fault. All lives come to an end, and I- I've had a great, full, life, Robin. Tell him that. Tell him that he's made my life so... so incredibly full. And I love him. More than anything. And I'm so proud of him. He- he's a wonderful man, and I did that."

" Yes, Trisha. Yes, you did. You raised an incredible man, who loves you, so fucking much. That's why you need to stay around, because he won't be able to handle losing you. P- please, Trisha."

" It's okay, Robin. It's all going to be okay." She brought Robin's head to her chest, allowing her to cry, as she felt life slowly departing her. Robin didn't know why, but her arms, clung so desperately to her figure, her heart, thumping, protesting against all the ache it had to endure. It felt like losing her own mother. And she was grateful, that she had been too young to understand. But now she did. And God, did it hurt.

Her cries slowly faded into occasional sniffles, her breakdown coming to a halt, as did everything else. The movement of the chest beneath her head. The frantic breathing through her hair. The trembling of the figure she held on to. It all just... stopped.

She pulled herself away, losing control over her own body, that seemed to have crumbled under the weight of the brutality of it all. Trisha's eyes had closed, the heart machine beeping in a single tone, showing only one flat line. She couldn't quite hear it, any of it. The nurses came in and left, after announcing the time of death. The doctors consoled her. But she didn't hear it. She could still hear how loud Trisha's heart had beaten before it had stopped. She could still hear how fragile her voice had sounded, before it silenced. She couldn't hear past that.

She walked towards the heart machine, turning it off. She closed the door, wanting to contain the overwhelming silence in that torturous room. The world wasn't allowed to know. Not before Zayn did. So, she took her phone, that had been ringing for a while, it seemed. She put it to her ear, that was still throbbing with it all, as his voice cut through.

" Robin, where have you been? I've been ca-"

" Zayn. Come back. Please."

And her phone fell away, and so did she, collapsing by the side of the bed, putting her fingers through Trisha's hair, as if reassuring her, that she was still there. Even if it killed her. 

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A/N: It only gets worse from here.

ily x