Paragon // z.m

22. "And jealous."

He had been successfully keeping himself to himself for a month now. He only held meetings with Louis. He stayed in the company for later hours, and came in early, so that they wouldn't have to meet, even if he desperately longed for a simple look, or an accidental hold of a hand, that would revive the seemingly shattered pieces of his heart.

He felt so weak, all the goddamn time. He had never allowed anything in so deep, but she had clawed herself to his being, and he couldn't rid himself of her, no matter how hard he tried. It was odd, how torturous, yet, comforting her presence somewhere in the company was. It was like, she was there. Sure, he couldn't talk to her, or hold her, but at least she was close to him. At least she wasn't as far away as every single source of comfort he'd ever had.

It was past ten, and he was extremely tired. It seemed like he always was lately. He pressed the ground floor to the elevator, after turning off the lights in his floor, since everyone had already gone home. He allowed his eyes to shut momentarily, attempting to rid his vision of the blurriness, to urge the headache away, but then the elevator came to an abrupt halt, and in came Liam. He pressed the button for the fourth floor, where the rehearsals hall was, and looked straight ahead, distancing himself from Zayn.

" I didn't think anyone would still be here." Zayn sighed, shaking his head at his rusty conversing skills. It had been a while though, since he felt the will to actually speak of something not work related.

" Hmm, yeah." Liam breathed, his features hard, ruthless.

" I see your bruises are all healed up." Zayn joked, earning the smallest of all smiles from Liam, who tilted his head backwards, skeptically eying Zayn, before allowing his smile to widen in amusement.

" Oh please, Malik, you barely touched me at all." Liam chuckled, and so did Zayn.

" Well, to be fair, that headlock, was kind of unfair, Liam. You're big, I didn't stand a chance."

" I'm big?" Liam lifted a taunting eyebrow, causing Zayn's features to scrunch up in playful disgust.

" Fucking hell, please save the perverted comments for Louis." Zayn said, as Liam chuckled, nodding his head, before looking straight ahead again. They dwelled in silence, not as uncomfortable as before, but rather calming.

" I knew it would work." Liam whispered, almost as if he didn't want Zayn to hear him yet.

" What was that?"

" I knew it would work. That kiss, it wasn't scripted or anything. I didn't have to do it, I just-"

" I really don't need to hear about your kiss, Liam." Zayn groaned, his jaw tightening at the resurfacing images.

" You're such an angry man, Zayn. I knew I had to do something, to initiate any sort of reaction from you." Liam shrugged.

" I was pissed."

" And jealous." Zayn contemplated denying it. He really was willing to stand there, and tell Liam that no, he wasn't jealous that Liam had kissed her when he couldn't even bring himself to hold her hand. But then he realized that she was already lost, so he didn't exactly have anything to lose anymore.

" And jealous." Zayn confirmed, just as the elevator stopped. Liam gave him a smile, and Zayn knew that all was forgiven, but not quite forgotten, as he returned it. Liam walked away, and the doors began to close.

" Hold the elevator please!"

His heart began to race, its beating a desperate plea for him to end his agony, and just get on his knees and ask her to love him. And he knew, that it had to be her. And it was. She stood in front of him, wide blue eyes, rosy cheeks, unpainted lips opened agape, hair over head in a bun, messy attire, yet, she looked absolutely flaw free. There wasn't a single thing that he would have changed about her, except perhaps, where her heart laid.