If I Take That Chance

Chapter 16

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Her dreams literally came true. She was in Paris and worked as a fashion designer. She should be happy, she should walk around the city with a big smile on her face, greet every person that she meets with "Bonjour," just like what she had always practiced in her French class that she took when she was still at the university. She was so determined to chase her dream to work and live in Paris, and now here she was and she felt miserable. 

Sam thought she could sustain her anger and be away from him, but she was wrong. She was lost without him. She barely smiled and hardly concentrated in everything she did. She tried to work harder, went home late, and tried to keep her mind occupied with everything she could find. She even went back to her singing career in clubs, a few nights a week. But nothing could stop her from missing him. She missed him terribly. She missed his voice, his teases, his smile, and most of all, she missed his warm embrace.  

She put her mug on the table next to the window and reached into her jeans' pocket. She pulled out her mobile phone and checked her inbox. She opened the first e-mail from him, sent a few days after she left him.

Dear Sam, 

I know I am a jerk. I am sorry, I hurt you. I trusted you with all my heart, but my logic tried to find the reason why Manuel was in your hotel room at seven in the morning, dripping wet in his bathrobe. I shouldn't have accused you. I have no right. I should have asked you what's going on, but I didn't do it because I am terrified. I am terrified that you would tell me that you love him instead of me. I wouldn't know what to do. I wouldn't know how to live without you, yet now I am and I feel miserable.  

I miss you already. I miss the time when I wake up and see your beautiful face first thing in the morning. I miss everything about you. I didn't know that you were part of me until the day you left.

She stopped reading; her sight was blurred with her tears. She refreshed her inbox, expecting a new e-mail from him, but nothing came up. He'd been quiet for the last two weeks, and it drove her mad. She was too upset to reply any of his e-mails, but after three months had passed, she was scared to contact him now. She was worried that he wouldn't reply back and, most of all, that he finally got over her and moved on. Sam clasped her mouth with her hand and shut her eyes tightly as she tried to stop the tears that streamed out uncontrollably. She bent down and cried. She sobbed loudly until she couldn't breathe.  

She looked down at her mobile phone. Her fingers shook; she pressed the call button and brought the phone to her ear. She wanted to hear his deep voice so she could calm down, then she would hang up. But to her disappointment, she heard the automatic operator explaining that he might have switched off his mobile phone and suggested to call back later.  

Sam sighed and stood up; she leaned her side to the window's frame. It was too late for her to come into her senses. She signed the divorce paperwork, and every day she waited for the confirmation anxiously. Sometimes she was confident that Luke wouldn't send the paperwork away, but sometimes she was frightened that he would. She took a deep breath and released it slowly. She turned her head toward the window and looked out. She caught a glimpse of a man pacing under the hard rain. She frowned, questioning his sanity. He looked up toward her and held himself still for a few seconds before he turned around and walked away. 

Sam jerked up, couldn't believe what she saw, and bolted out the door in a second flat. She ran toward the fire exit then flew down the stairs, breaking the world record by leaping ten floors in less than a minute. She ran as fast as she could, ignoring the rain that poured heavily on her head and soaked her body wet.