Sesshomaru x Reader: A Change for the Love We Want #Wattys2017

Chapter Eleven: Fresh Start

It felt good to bathe, to feel the hot water from the spring making my cold body shiver before getting used to the temperature and settling down. I waded over and sat myself down on a (mostly) even and stable ledge in the water.

"A-ah...!" I stiffened in pain as I felt the scars on my body sting. "Crap, they're that sensitive, huh?" I waited for the hurt to lessen, then held my breath, sank beneath the water's surface and raked my fingers through my hair. My forehead was covered in sweat and I was glad to rid my skin of the sticky feeling.

The ends of my hair are still uneven... Oh, well. I'm sure my hair will look better sometime within the next several months. I have plenty of time.

I came up from underneath the water's surface and fell backwards to float on my back for a bit. I had learned to swim when I was younger and had never neglected to practice, and I had been able to teach Rin a bit as well.

Rin... What are you doing today?

I hoped against hope and prayers that Rin was still alive. She had to be. The man-eating wolves hadn't gone her direction that day, as far as I knew. Maybe she had made it to the village I directed her to. Maybe someone was taking care of her. All of this thinking about Rin made me think about [little brother's name] as well.

[Little brother's name]... I miss you. I miss you terribly. I still remember your smiling face and your bright eyes. You'd be about ten now. Where exactly are you? Are you alive? Why did I see you in that nightmare dressed like a demon slayer?

I didn't know the answers to any of my questions. I sank beneath the surface again and looked up at the distorted image of the Sun through the clear water.

I didn't realize... I began to let my breath out. ...how close death is to me every day. My breath came out of my mouth and nose in bubbles and they popped when they hit the hot spring's surface. I closed my eyes. Is dying really this easy? All I would have to do is breathe in a few lungfuls of this water, and I would be on my way to another world altogether. I felt my back hit the murky bottom of the spring, and my hands were calm by my sides. Away from violence... Away from fear... Away from sadness... Away from Naraku.

Away from Lord Sesshomaru. My eyes opened quickly and I swam upwards. I broke the water's surface and gasped and coughed, gulping in air, feeling lightheaded.

"No!" I exclaimed to no one. "I... I want to stay with Lord Sesshomaru. I know I cause him trouble sometimes, but I know that I can get better! Besides, if it weren't for him, I would be dead right now. Why waste a perfectly good second chance at living? That would be ridiculous!" I took several deep breaths and calmed myself down from my self-lecture.

"I have to start again," I said. My heart pounded excitedly in my chest. "Today is the day I try harder and think harder. I won't be a burden to Lord Sesshomaru. I'll even be a help to him!" I smiled to myself.

I should get back to him and Master Jaken soon. I climbed out of the warm water and let myself dry off for a bit before putting my kimono on again. I walked a little ways towards our campsite until I spotted some fruits off to my right. My stomach grumbled.

Right... I haven't had breakfast yet. I jogged over and grabbed three of the rather large fruits, holding two under my arms and one in my hands. "I can eat when I get there," I said to myself. The first thing I would do was ask if Lord Sesshomaru needed anything done for him. I then began running back to the campsite with a smile on my face.

"Lord Sesshomaru!" I called. "Lord Sesshomaru!"