LEMON HEAD (English version) #Wattys2016

22.FALLING

Little Stars would be recorded and broadcast live weekly, every Saturday night. And we would start soon.

We were fourteen bands, two of which would be eliminated every programme, so we would spent about two and half months working on it... If we made it to the finals, of course. Some of us would leave sooner, some of us later.

We were all nervous but also excited. The truth is that the most important thing for us was to have fun and to enjoy that experience. Although we obviously also cared about winning, specially now that they had told us what was the prize: the possibility to record an album with an important record company with all its cost already payed besides a tour through the whole country, Spain.

The only problem we saw in all of that was the high school. The teachers had been sympathetic, yes, but not enough. It'd probably be pretty overwhelming to have to combine high school and the preparation and realisation of the programme during those two and half months.

One morning when I woke up my mother told me something that astonished me.

My father finally had a date for a trial. She would go as a witness and she asked me if I wanted to go too. My answer was negative. It was something complicated and, depending of the judgment he got, it could be hurtful too, so I didn't feel like going at all.

The first week before the programme's first broadcasting was pretty stressful, I guess we'd have to get used to it.

We had to go from 5:30 pm to 8:30pm to the programme's set which was in a city that was half an hour by car away from the town. It always was the same man the one who helped and counsel us whether with our technique or the choreography.

For that first "gala" of the programme whe chose the song Ain't It Fun by, once more, Paramore.

It was Tuesday afternoon of precisely the week of the first broadcast, and our first performance, of Little Stars when I heard about the judgement of my father, who's trial had been the day before.

After a lot of investigations and proofs, it had been shown that his colleague wasn't the only one to blame.

Both of them belonged to a narcotics mafia organization which they had voluntarily joined four years ago.

The day they caught them they had asked them to deliver those drugs somewhere in the north of the country, where they were going to when they found that vehicle inspection on the road.

It all meant that he'd had to finish to serve his sentence and stay those three remaining years he had to in prison.

But that didn't make me sad, no, what I felt then was rage. I was angry. A lot. My father wasn't that kind of person. He had done it for the money, but not because it was necessary.

And he had ruined everything.

When he was at home we didn't have any kind of economic problems. We could even afford some little whims sometimes! But it wasn't enough for him, he wanted more. Maybe to make a trip all together, so we could buy more new things or even to buy himself something, but it was no excuse!

Then, because of that, my mother had had to search and get a hard and exhausting job so at least we wouldn't starve.

I found it something really really selfish. The rage I felt was consuming me, I felt my blood boiling through my veins and going up to my face.

That afternoon as soon as my mother had told me everything I went out to walk. I needed to get some air.

I was walking fast in the mood to punch every single person or even tree I saw. I didn't know where I was going. The only objective I had in mind in that moment was to calm down and to reduce all the tension I felt.