Human (ON HOLD.)

Chapter One: Broken

𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒈𝒐𝒕 𝒎𝒆 𝒔𝒄𝒂𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒅 𝒊𝒏 𝒑𝒊𝒆𝒄𝒆𝒔. 𝑺𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒔𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒈.

Selena's POV

Fame. The word that is supposed to known as being cool, and successful. Sometimes people want to grow up to be famous and all that. I was one of those kids. I guess I didn't know what was coming to me when it happened.

Your whole life is broadcasted to the world. Personal problems with friends, boyfriends, and family. People think they know you because of what they see on headlines. They think they know you because of what they read on 'exposing' social media pages.

I have one of the biggest fan bases in Hollywood, and I'm grateful. I'm extremely grateful for my fans and the love & support they shower me with everyday. A lot of my fans tell me that they are strong because I am strong. Little do they know, that's not the case with me. At least not lately.

He meant everything to me. I put my everything into his hands because we were in love. Then things changed and mistakes have been made. There was moments when I told
myself I deserved better—I would be feeling so confident about myself and it'd all get completely shattered, by one thing. By something so stupid. I feel like I know him, though. I know his heart and I know what he wouldn't do to hurt me. But then he makes me feel crazy and makes me feel like it's my fault.

I was in pain.

I feel like I lost everything, but I know deep down that I didn't. I still have my friends. I still have my family. I still have my fans. I have the people who truly love me and support me through anything.

My best friend—Taylor. She has always breen by my side even when she knows I was wrong. Of course, my family is always there for me and so are most of my fans. I've lost some fans. I just have to acknowledge the fans that are still there for me, right by my side when I need them the most.

"Selena." Taylor sighed, setting a cup of tea on my nightstand. "It isn't worth the tears."

I ran my long fingers through my long, Brown hair and then took a sip of my tea, "I know. But have you seen what people have been saying about me?"

I've always told myself to never let what the media says get to me. But every time I'm going to a grocery store or watching television, it's all about 'Selena Gomez has gone crazy without ex-boyfriend' and other bullshit. I'm going through a hard time but I am not going crazy without him.

She pressed her lips in a thin line,
confirming she knows. "You can't let those assholes get to you. That's what they want.
So they could make a sob story out of it."

I bitterly chuckled and looked at her. "How could I not let it get to me? Every time I go out, my ex-boyfriend's name is being shouted in my fucking ear. When I go out in just sweats and no makeup, I'm depressed without him. When I look good, I'm trying to look good for him or something. It's so—ugh!" I stressed.

"I'm sorry," She sighed as she wrapped her arm around my shoulder to comfort me. "That's the media for you. You just got to ignore it and do your own thing, but I know it's hard. Trust me. I've had my fair share of shit being said about me."

I felt the tears stinging my eyes again...I wanted to hold them in. I've cried too much these past couple of months and I'm sick of it, it's exhausting and frankly, it's fucking embarrassing. But it was no use, I felt them roll down as I put my head in my hands.

"I'm so sick of this," I whispered.

"Wanna come over? Get your mind off it?"

I shook my head, "No, I'll stay here."

"Okay...but if you change your mind..."

"I know," I force a smile, hugging her swiftly. I curl up on my couch with my phone as she makes her way out...these days I rarely like to go on my phone, it's just not healthy for me.

I put it away and get up, looking at my appearance. I look...decent. I rush to the bathroom to splash cold water on my face to relax my puffy eyes from crying. Me and my mom have to go out to meet my manager so we can look at an outfit to get for the VMAs this weekend. I have to start being careful what I wear now, since anything I do somehow links to Justin in the media.

When I leave the bathroom, my mom is standing in the living room with a smile thick with sympathy. "Ready?" I mentally sigh at the obvious pity. I understand people care and I'm thankful for that, but sympathetic smiles and all that just reminds me how sad I am. I don't need to be sad anymore, I need to move on and do what I love to do. So I just nod, walking out the door with her.

-

"Did you find a dress?" Taylor asks as she pops a graham cracker in her mouth.

After the mall, I decided to come over to her house because she seems to always know how to boost my mood. Behind all the bullshit people love to talk about her on the media, she has been hurt before and she gets it. And she knows me, so she knows just what to do to make feel better. Even if it's just a little better.

"Oh!" I jump with excitement, smiling widely as I pull out my phone to show her the dress I picked out. "This is it. I really wanted to go for a long dress, but that was also really sexy. It didn't take long to find this either, look how pretty it is!"

"Our dress is the same color!" She shouts with a smile and I widen my eyes before laughing, realizing we would be sort of twinning on accident. She shows me the dress and it's a mermaid style one, and I could picture how beautiful her long, thin body in it.

"We're gonna look fucking awesome," I chuckle, getting up from the couch to put our food away.

"Is Justin going to be there?" She asks when I get back. My smile fades, shrugging.

"I don't know."

I'm excited for the show but at the same time, anxiety pumps through me when I really think about it...I know how this shit always goes. I'm going to be asked about my past relationship and friendships, something that always pops up. I get that this is my job and I have to deal with it, but it's tiring sometimes. I for sure did not sign up for that.

I sigh and shake the negative thoughts away. VMAs, here we go.

-

A/N:
hello :,) hope you enjoyed. this story is supposed to have real events in it but a lot of the events might not be in order and they will be kinda rushed—mostly because I started this story to begin in 2013 but I'll be time-jumping to 2016 but act like it's only be a few months? I know. messy. I started this story so long ago and wasn't thinking straight when I did it. also I started writing it when I was 13 so some of the chapters are cringe & embarrassing lol. don't worry though, it gets better :,)

with that being said, I still have love for this story because it's was my first and I know some of you like it. so thank u & hope you continue <3

xx harlenaspassion 💌