Human (ON HOLD.)

Chapter Three: Perfect to me

𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒂𝒊𝒏'𝒕 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒃𝒆𝒔𝒕. 𝒎𝒚 𝒓𝒆𝒑𝒖𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏'𝒔 𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒃𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒔𝒆, 𝒔𝒐 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒎𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒎𝒆 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒎𝒆.

Selena's POV

After promising myself a hundred times that I would be okay, I would stop crying about all this and just let myself be happy—I find myself in my bed with my heart hurting. I lie in my bed, staring at nothing as all the thoughts consume my desolate mind.

I heard he was with somebody else, I chose not to let it bother me because why should I care anymore? But who am I kidding? I can't choose what I feel. I just feel. From what I see, she's beautiful. He doesn't look unhappy with her. She's fit with a pretty face, obviously a model.

She's perfect.

Even though I knew I was torturing myself by doing so, I scrolled through Twitter as I read through the tweets, tears burning my eyes.

gomezsquad: selena >>>

jelenaforever: rebound?

jblovelies: good for justin for upgrading

smgxexposed: it's nice to see him someone who actually cares about him and doesn't want to use him for fame (:

selenaflowers: can we not focus on negativity? selena is amazing, justin is amazing. we don't know anything about their personal life.

selenastyles: okay but can we talk about harlena at the vmas

The last tweet made me furrow my eyebrows and chuckle, so I clicked on the username. Their account was filled with tweets talking about how much they want me and Harry to be together, followed by photoshopped pictures of us. That's crazy. I've seen myself be "shipped" with a lot of different people, but I would have never thought it would be him.

I really am grateful for the fans who showed me love and didn't focus on the Hollywood drama though...they really have been my only source of positivity lately.

selenagomez: I love you. ❤️

I think I just need to focus on my fans and what I need to do for them and myself, not about my ex and his new girlfriend. Lately it's felt like the only time I can breathe is when I'm in the studio recording music. I'm working on an album right now, but I don't think I'm going to be releasing it for a while. I want to be working on it for a while, because I feel like this one is going to represent me more than any of my other albums has—in so many ways.

This year has been so hard for me and this album is basically talking about that. It shows that who I'm becoming now, is the new me. Scratch that, it's the real me.

I've kept my songs and albums safe for Disney, but now that I'm off Disney, I'm able to express myself. Show the real me. Show who I am and what I can do. So many people have doubted me, even other people in the industry. This album is to prove them wrong, and that's exactly what I am going to do. There isn't a song recorded yet, but there are songs that have been written already.

"Selena?" A voice snaps me out of my thoughts. "Are you okay?"

I look at the doorway and see my friend Ashley, her purse and the spare key I gave her a while back in her hands. She sets her purse on my bed and then sits next to me, a frown on her lips. I turn away from her, my face probably humiliatingly puffy and wet with tears...

She brings her hand to my knee, "Selena..." She whispers, seeming to know immediately knowing why I was crying.

I use the bottom of my shirt to wipe my face and let out a shaky breath, "What happened to me?"

"What do you mean?"

"Me. What the hell happened? I used to be so happy and confident and now I just turned into this...broken person. This broken girl that cries all the time and it's always about bullshit." I sigh, furiously wiping the unwanted tears from my cheeks.

"You are going through a hard time," she tells me with soft eyes. "You are allowed to cry, there's nothing wrong with that."

I look at her through my tears. "I feel weak, crying like this all the time."

"You aren't weak. You're just...heartbroken," she shrugs.

I shake my head and wipe my tears again, hoping that's the last of them. I lean my head on her shoulder. I haven't spoken to Ashley in a while but I remember getting a call from her when drama about my breakup with Justin surfaced. She's always been there for me ever since we became close on the set of our movie.

"I love you but do you think I could spend some time alone?" I ask quietly and she snickers.

"Of course," She whispers and kisses my forehead, pulling away from me. I follow her downstairs since I wanted to watch TV for a little while. "I'll talk to you soon?"

I nod, "Thank you for coming today."

We stand in the front door. She pulls me into an embrace, smelling the scent of her strawberry shampoo. "Take care, babes," She muffles in my hair.

I smile, "Will do, Benzo."

When she leaves, I look at the time on my phone. Eight-thirty...well. I don't have anything to do tomorrow so I guess I'll just hang around all night and binge-watch Friends for the rest of the night. My ideal night anyways. After I gather some snacks, I rush back to the living room.

Just as I plop onto the couch, I hear someone knock on my door. I furrow my eyebrows. What the hell? It's almost eleven o'clock and someone decides to come over uninvited? I panic a little when the thought of it being fans crosses my mind...

I look through the peep-hole but I can't see anything since it's so damn dark. All I saw was a tall figure but that's it. Whoever the hell it is better have a good reason to show up here this late...I slowly unlock the door and open it slowly, peeking my head halfway to see who it is. A gasp leaves my lips as I realize who it is.

"Harry? Oh my—what are you doing here?" I widen my eyes at him. "I'm sorry I took so long to answer the door, I didn't know it was you..."

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have came this late. I was just around the neighborhood and thought I'd stop by," he tells me and I tilt my head at him. Was that really the reason? There isn't much around my neighborhood...he folds his lips and sighs, "I came here because I thought maybe you needed someone today?"

It takes me a while to realize what he was getting at...oh...my cheeks turn red with embarrassment. Great...he probably saw everything people had been saying about me and all the drama. The ridiculous and hateful hashtags trending on social media...

Realizing my saddened expression, his eyes softens. He steps closer, wrapping his long arms around my torso and pulls me closer. I was shocked at first but I somehow felt...calmed? Something about the way his delicate hands gently rub circles around my back, and the security in his hold...I let out a breath, wrapping my arms around him and dig my face into his shoulders.

Then, he whispers, "Don't compare yourself to her. You're perfect to me."

–
A/N:

just want to say I am aware this will never happen in real life (^: also I don't hate justin & I'm aware I don't actually know how selena's relationship with him was, I only write his character & their relationship the way I do for the story.

xx harlenaspassion 💌