alexis
I smooth down my shirt and try to ignore the anxiety rushing through my veins as I walk through the gate and into Luke's backyard. Already, my ears are filled with music that is too loud and causing vibrations beneath my feet ground, as I step over the freshly cut grass.
My head is screaming at me that is was a mistake. I just turn around, go back to my house. No one would ever have to know that I was here.
There are a lot of small clusters of people standing around, their ages seeming to vary drastically. White fairy lights that blink at me are spread out over the edges of the awning. These distract me from my path and remind me of my room at home in Seattle. I have lights exactly like these at home.
Long fold up tables line the yard, each decorated with platters of varying snacks and colored tablecloths. Adults are standing around these tables, holding wine glasses, and it hits me that this is not the kind of party I was expecting.
There are no sweaty, drunken teenagers dancing seductively offbeat to rap music. There are no red solo cups being tossed around, and there are no girls dancing on the tables. There is no beer pong and no anxious girl standing in the corner focusing on just staying alive.
No, this is one of Liz's dinner parties.
I can't contain my smile.
Though this realization eases the anxiety-ridden veins for a moment, the thought of seeing Calum instantly makes my heart beat too fast again. I am not ready to see him, but then again I never truly will be.
I don't spot Luke or the rest of the band anywhere, so I walk through the back door to the house, past a few more groups of people I don't recognize, and a table with several bowls of food displayed proudly on it's top. I jog down the stairs two at a time to reach Luke's basement, and can already hear the boys bickering with each other.
"Hey, I called the last piece," Michael whines as I reach the open door.
Luke, Michael, and Ashton are spread out amongst the large room. Luke is sprawled out on the couch, his guitar right on his lap, where it always is. Michael is spinning in a desk chair, twirling around repeatedly as Ashton eats a slice of pizza on the sofa opposite Luke. The coffee table is littered with empty pizza boxes, paper towels, and soda bottles.
"Not my fault I grabbed it first," Ash says, and Luke shakes his head. He then glances up and notices me standing there, and quickly stands, almost knocking down the glass that sits beside him.
"Alex, hey!" He says, walking over to me and opening his arms. I lean into his chest as he wraps his arms around me, engulfing me in a hug. He leans his head on top of mine, which is easy due to his towering height.
I let him hug me so that he believes that I am okay when really that could not be further from the truth. It seems lying is the only thing I'm good at these days.
Ash and Michael giggle as we hug, and make kissy noises at each other the whole time.
"Fuck off," Luke tells them, but the smile on his face contradicts his harsh tones. Michael and Ashton both say hi to me, and effortlessly include me in their conversation as I take a seat next to Luke on the couch.
"Want some pizza?" Luke asks, clearing off the coffee table a little. "Ash ate all the pepperoni, but there's still cheese,"
I chuckle a little. "I love how you guys are eighteen and still order cheese and pepperoni pizza," I say, helping myself to a slice.
"I'm twenty," Ashton corrects through a mouthful, and I laugh.
"My point exactly," I respond, laughing and turn to Luke, who was watching me with a grin on his face. I'm surprised there aren't more people in the basement, given that this is a party. But then images of the people I walked past enter my mind, and a realization hits me.
YOU ARE READING
and then you left // cth
Fanfiction"you left me, cal. after everything you'd said, after every promise, you left me without even saying goodbye," my words knock the wind out of him. he doesn't know what to say, what to do. but even so, he stares into my eyes, reminding me of everythi...
