Conversations From Afar

8 / extension

Gabriel and I walk downtown, him sipping a chocolate frappe and dribbling a soccer ball between his new running shoes. I wear my new black gloves with touch-screen-friendly fingertips even though there's only a whisper of a chill.

"So, guess who's the new captain?"

"No." I say, in that, of course he's captain.

"That's right. I'm like, lowkey the best player right now." He does a funny little kick, and be ball sails up and he snags it out of the air. "So, captain I am."

"You sound like yoda."

"When you look at the dark side, careful you must be, for the dark side looks back." He replies with a messed up voice. I laugh, and it's almost like before when we would walk over to Cam's together (except not the last, most important part.)

"But congrats, dear." I tell him, my voice motherly kind. He tilts his cheek and I rise to my tiptoes and smack my lips there. He laughs.

"So how are you, Katherine? Really." He holds the ball against his stomach now, both arms draped around it.

"Awful...with a side of okay."

"What's it like?"

"Him being gone?"

"Yeah. Describe it to me."

"You sound like him." I roll my eyes, but it's already caused a twist in my stomach.

"I know..." He elbows me, begging with his lively eyes. Cam's eyes.

"It sucks. I miss him all the time. I know it makes me sound codependent, but it's not like I need him. I just...feel like a part of me is missing. He was always more than my boyfriend, like...it feels like we're extensions of each other. And half of me is gone."

He makes a pitying sound, and wraps an arm around me somehow keeping the ball beneath his other arm while still holding his drink. I lean into his side and let some of his warmth thaw my (in)side(s).