Conversations From Afar

dreaming / 84

I wake up so fast that I jerk forward in my seat because it felt like I was falling. My neck cricks and my eyes burn with unshed tears.

Oh my gosh.

"Hey, hey," Cam's hand cups my shoulder, thumbing my collarbone lightly. "Katherine."

"Um..." I take a deep breath. It was only a dream. Only a dream. Why is my heart still freaking out?

"Breathe, it's okay." His hand leaves my shoulder as he flips on the signal light and the green exit sign flashes beneath the headlights. It feels like we go around three complete loops before it's straightaway again.

I hug my stomach and slouch until my knees press against the dash. He rented one of those round-edged SUVs with wide leather seats and a slightly-cushioned dashboard, perfect for propping your knees against.

"Want to talk about it?"

"It was Alex."

He turns, looking more astonished than I've ever seen him. (Cam is very good as hiding surprise, probably why he'll be a good psychologist.)

"Well - I - has this happened before? Why haven't you - you never mentioned it?" His eyes are serious and his voice is saturated with concern.

"Not really, I mean sometimes right after... I don't know."

"How long ago?"

"Not since... I don't know, sometime around last Christmas."

"Kat, did you ever tell anyone?" He glances over carefully before returning his eyes to the road.

"It didn't even happen, it just almost happened."

"What happened was traumatic enough to have you crying, you who rarely cries, and have reoccurring nightmares about it."

"No one cares if you were almost raped." There it is. The word I've unconsciously avoided for the past two years.

"I care, and I know your mom would care."

"It's not like I think about it a lot."

"But maybe it's you're suppressing it."

"Don't go therapist on me." He doesn't reply and I turn to stare out the window.

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Dedicated 2 justthugs & takingbacknachos ilyxxooooxoxoox I remember when balconial wasn't "popular" at all and you both were the most faithful readers ever omg nostalgia your comments made (still make;) my life