The Mender

End of Doubts

"Esri, wake-up. What happened to your arm? You're bleeding all over your sheets." Joe's anxious face loomed over Esri. She stared blankly at him for several seconds. Her mind was still with the scouting party and the survivors.

To Joe, it looked like Esri didn't even know who he was, "Es, honey, what is it? It's me."

Esri looked at the bleeding gash on her arm, up at her Dad and again at her arm and again at her Dad. She saw Jilly sitting on the edge of her bed, staring wide-eyed at Esri. Esri struggled to wake up, "Ah, Dad. Sorry, I was sound asleep. Weird dream."

"But your arm. What did you do?"

"Ahhh, I cut it. It was an accident. I guess . . . it's deeper than I thought." Esri's mind raced. The cut was where the woman's spear sliced into Esri's arm. Clea never mentioned that what happened to Esri in the dreams could carry over into her real life. "I, ah, think it's from . . . that thorn bush in Clea's yard. I brushed against it yesterday. Um, really hard."

"It was still pretty cold out yesterday. Why weren't you wearing a jacket?"

"I was cleaning up some stuff in Clea's yard and got hot."

"This is a pretty deep cut, Esri, didn't Clea see it? I'm surprised she didn't do anything. You need to go to the clinic and get it looked at." Joe shook his head. "Esri, what you're telling me doesn't entirely make sense. Why didn't you say anything last night? Is there something you're not telling me?"

"I didn't realize it was that deep and didn't show it to Clea. I didn't want her to start fussing. It's not her fault. It seemed ok last night. It's just bleeding a little." Esri got out of bed. She didn't want to keep talking to her Dad. "I'll go right away to the clinic, as soon as I drop Jilly off. Write me a note for school. I'll be fine, really, Dad." She called over her shoulder and quickly got into the shower before her Dad could interrogate her any further. She knew he needed to leave for work.

After her Dad's reaction to the thorn bush story, Esri thought she needed a better story for the clinic. She told them that the cut came from a sharp piece of metal sticking out of a school locker. The doctor assumed from looking at the cut that it had just happened. Esri mumbled something about a meeting in school before class and not paying attention to what she was doing. Esri was desperate to talk to Clea.

Esri rushed to Clea's after school. "Why didn't you tell me this could happen?" Esri pulled off her jacket, pushed up her sleeve, and pointed to her bandaged arm.

"Oh my dear. What happened to your arm?" said Clea.

"Clea! It happened in my dream last night. We found more Ash Rain survivors. They were frightened of us and one on them threw a spear at me and cut my arm. When I woke up this morning, the cut was still there and there was blood on my sheets. My Dad and Jilly were freaking out and, of course I couldn't explain. I didn't know what to say. It's deep enough that the doctor put stitches in at the clinic." Esri's voice was strained and shaking when she finished.

Clea shook her head, rubbing her hand on her leg. She sighed. "Oh dear. Please sit, Esri. Tell me what happened. Is it painful?"

Esri sat and spoke angrily to Clea. "I'm fine. You need to talk to me. You hurt your leg in your Mending, didn't you? Why didn't you tell me? What if something really bad happens to me in my dreams? What if I die? Will my Dad and Jilly find my dead body in bed one morning? You need to tell me everything that happened to you."

Clea looked distraught. "You're right. I should have told you about my leg. Thomas and I talked about whether to say anything to you, at least at this point. I didn't want to frighten you unnecessarily. You're having to deal with so much. And since your dreams started again, and the wonderful Agreements at Flat Rocks, I thought everything was back on track with your Mending."

Thomas said, "You were still having some doubts that your Mending is real, weren't you?"

"Yes, a few, but just small ones," said Esri.

"And do you have any doubts now?"

"No. None. None at all."

Clea looked down at her folded hands, "I know how you feel, Esri. Being a Mender can feel overwhelming. Why me? You're thinking." She looked at Esri. "But it's also an honor. You were chosen for the courage inside you and it will see you through. Never lose faith in that. The life spirit, whatever it is that drives this, needs your unwavering belief in The Mending. I'm so sorry about your arm, Esri. What a terrible day you've had. What did the doctor say?"

"It's just a little sore. I'll probably have a faint scar but if I'm careful for the next little while it should heal fine," Esri's tone softened. "I'm sorry I sounded angry, Clea. If I could only talk to my Dad or Ada or Luka about it. I'm not being honest with them and I don't like that. It's not who I am."

"I understand. One of the hardest parts of the Mending is that you can't talk about it to the people closest to you."

Thomas said, "Esri, you won't die in your dreams. You will need to guide the next Mender. The life spirit will ensure you get through your Mending."

Esri spoke longer with Clea and Thomas and told them everything that was happening in her dreams.

After Esri left, Clea said, "Are we sure that Esri is safe? What if the Disruptors have become so strong that the life spirit can't protect her anymore?"

Thomas said, "I don't believe that could happen. But if that ever becomes the case, then we are all lost."