Chapter 18

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SURPRISE UPLOAD

So I got a lot of really sweet comments on the Author's note, so I worked really hard and stayed up in the late hours of the night to get this done earlier for you guys! Yay! :)

6,000 reads!! :O WHAT YOU GUYS ARE SO GREAT ILY

So I'm dedicating this chapter to ineedacleverusername because she always leaves me really sweet comments, so thank you so much :)

Anyways! Enjoy!

-Saz

Chapter 18

When he ran out of his own room that morning, Louis' chest had felt tight, and it was like the air never seemed to enter his lungs correctly. His heart had pounded against his ribs and in the most painful and uncomfortable way. He had fucked up with Ben... And he fucked up badly.

He wanted to apologize for letting his physical needs and desire control his body, but he couldn't find the right words to. Ben didn't bring up their snogging session, mostly because they didn't have a minute of alone time. Not that Louis would allow that to happen... He couldn't face Ben and tell him that he actually thought that Ben was Harry. He couldn't look him in the eye and tell him that he would much rather be snogging Harry and not Ben. 

But even Louis couldn't deny the fact that it was one of the best moments of his life. How long had he lusted after Harry? How long had he dreamed of doing things like that to him? Now he finally did, only with a few complications...

Ben also held a special place in Louis' heart. He's the one that Louis was waiting for, and he was the one that spoke kindly to him and he was the one that confused Louis most of all. Ben seemed SO MUCH like Harry that Louis wondered if it was Harry without the memories to go with it... But Ben didn't remember all of those special times that he had with Harry that made Harry and Louis' relationship work. They didn't have that magical connection that Harry and Louis did... It was all so complicated that Louis chose not to think too much about.

So for five days, he had been very careful to never be alone with the curly haired lad. He didn't want to be confronted by the very lad himself that he was too shamed to see. Ben didn't seem to go out of his way to find Louis, either. He seemed much too confused about this whole situation just as Louis was. 

"Hey, you boys want to go down and shop for a bit?" Liam asks the four boys as they lounged around the living room. "I'm so tired of being cooped up in this building for days!"

Niall laughs before answering, "I'd love to go. I need to get out." He stands with a low grunt before turning back to Ben, "Come on, pal! Let's burn a hole in that pocket of yours! Have some fun!" He slaps down on Ben's shoulder with a loose, toothy grin.

"It's Harry's money." Ben whispers weakly. He knows that the argument of whose money it actually is wont last. Niall would always attempt to convince him to buy things with his own money, and that it was shared with him and Harry now.

"Aw, come on!" Niall says again, grabbing his hand and pulling him to his feet. "We both know that you want to spend some of this money... And plus it's like you're buying Harry a Christmas present!" He tried to explain, although he just made it more confusing.

Knowing that Niall wouldn't give up until he went shopping them, Ben sighed deeply and reluctantly and shyly agreed to shop with them. Normally he would have looked back and practically beg Louis, the only familiar face, to come with him, but he didn't as much glance in Louis' direction. 

Louis pretended that it didn't sting as much as it did.

"You boys want to join?" Liam asked, looking back at Zayn and Louis', their legs on top of each other as they laid in the love seat. 

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