Black Coffee (Larry Stylinson)

Chapter 28

A/N: so its been about a month and im so so sorry... i've started college and between that and work i barely have time to breath or even shave my legs (im serious i have shaved in a week because i have no time) and so ive been writing in very small sections, and i'm such a slow writer anyways, that its taken me so much longer to finish this chapter........... so im so so sorry. 

anyways dont be too mad at me and enjoy this next chapter and i will try to finish chapter 9 by next friday (the 18) so look out for that xx 

recap: Ben left the boys in london and went back to the cafe and then louis was all upset so he left to the cafe too okay ready action

CHAPTER 28

They fell into the same old pattern. Get up, go to the cafe, order black coffee and toast, pour the coffee into the white mug, mutter this and that about how the day was and that was that. There was no conversation about the months that they had spent together, the kiss they shared in the room that day, the words carefully spoken to one another.... nothing. 

And Ben didn't even look Louis in the eye as much as Louis pleaded with his eyes, but of course, this was Ben's world, and not Louis and Ben's or even Harry's world. It pulled at Louis' heart strings when he realized that he was only here for Harry, and Ben was just the second best and he really really didn't want to see it that way, but when Ben touched Louis' hand as they passed the mug from one hand to the other, it didn't carry the same spark that it did when Harry touched him. 

It hurt because Ben was such a nice guy, with the world against him. He was merely thrown into a fairly complicated situation with the entire world pressuring him into being something that he just.... wasn't. Louis got that. He understood why Ben had left. It just... didn't seem like the end. In a way, Ben was Harry and Harry was Ben even though the two were completely different, and Louis couldn't just let him go. 

He loved Harry more than he wished he did.

The ache for Harry seemed like mourning over a loved one's death. But this was just mocking him in his time of pain, confusion and grief, because Harry was so close and he could touch him but it wasn't him and it confused Louis more than it did comfort him. 

The ticks were there. The way Ben would ruffle his hair a few times before sweeping it so carefully to the side. It was practiced hands, muscle memory the doctor had described once. And it was teasing because Harry used to do that, but it was somehow different because it just wasn't Harry.

But even not-Harry and Ben was, Louis needed him close. It was like a drug, and he could tell which way was down when he was away from Ben. But he did know, that there was no other place in the world that he would want to be, than right here, waiting for Harry to come back.

And the selfishness in Louis was beginning to be too much. He wanted Ben to understand that Louis needed him, and with the growing bags under the curly haired lad's eyes, Louis could tell that Ben somehow needed Louis as well. 

But he just didn't understand how Ben couldn't see that. And if he did, why did he just walk away?

Louis was frusterated and upset, and lonely and desperate and he had this overwhelming need to make sure that Ben knew how much that Louis needed him, even if they both knew it wasn't enough. 

So, after the 8th day of being back in the cafe, and the motel and the cabin, Louis waited at his table, scanning the daily newspaper but unable to read the actual words with shaky, nervous hands. Ben finally gave Marissa a kiss of the cheek (yes, Marissa and Ben did become so close in a matter of days, not that Louis was jealous of them or anything), before hanging up his apron and grabbing his peacoat hanging on the hook behind the cash register.