My Brother Says I'm Dangerous

(4)

"You lied to me Eva!" Nick growls.

"How did you even know where I was?" I huff. I feel Jenson next to me shift slightly, and I glare at him.

"You tattled?" I sneer.

"Your brother was worried." He says. Nick skids to a stop at the house, and I try to run up the path, but Nick grabs my arm.

"Thanks man." He says to Jenson. "Hope Andy goes home."

"He won't." He shrugs. "But he'll be fine."

"If Andy will be fine, I'll be fine." I say annoyed.

"Andy will be fine because he's a dropkick." Jenson says to me sternly. "He's an idiot, and I know he won't stop acting like an idiot anytime soon. You still have potential and don't belong there."

"I'll see you tomorrow, ok?" Tyler asks. "I'll be here early."

"What's happening tomorrow?" I ask quickly. All three exchange looks, and Nick frowns.

"See you guys later." He finishes, as they get into Tyler's car. They drive off, and Nick pulls me inside. He takes me to the kitchen, and lets go of my arm.

"You know I wanted to talk to you tonight." He says angrily.

"I was going to come back soon." I lie.

"We both know you weren't." He sighs.

"Nick, I'm alright." I protest. "I'm not hurt, it's fine."

"This only makes my decision easier." He says quietly.

"What decision?" I ask. What the hell is he talking about?

"I made a call today." He says, sitting down at the table.

"What?" I say. "What's happening?"

"Do you remember Mom and Dad ever talking about Keith and Emily Samuels?" He asks.

"No." I say, my throat tightening, like it always does when he brings our parents up.

"Apparently they were close college friends with Mum and Dad." He continues.

"So what?" I wonder.

"Shortly after they died... they contacted me." He says. "They couldn't come down to the funeral, but they wanted to help out. Ever since I was eighteen they kept an open offer for me to go work for them, they always wanted us to be taken care of."

"You have a job." I say bluntly.

"I know." He says. "I always politely declined, but I kept in contact because... well, they knew Mum and Dad."

"You didn't tell me?" I question him.

"You were pretty young." He says apologetically. "You were hurting, I didn't want to make it worse."

"So why bring it up now?" I ask rudely.

"Today I asked if that offer was still open." He says quietly. I frown.

"So what?" I wonder. "You got a new job, why is this such big news?"

"You don't get it Ev." He sighs. "I accepted this job for you. We're moving."

"What?" My heart stops.

"The job is in Montanna." He says quickly.

"No." I say bluntly. "No way. We live in Ohio Nick!"

"We're moving at the end of the week." He says. "They own a dude ranch, I'll be working as a mechanic on their farm. They're letting us live there for free, Ev."

"Why are you making us move?" I yell, not believing what I'm hearing. "We're fine here, how can you-"

"We're not fine Eva!" He yells back, standing up. "If you think we're fine, you're delusional. Ever since the incident Eva, you have been spiralling out of control! I don't know what to do anymore, so I'm doing the only thing I can think of, I'm removing you from the situation!"

"There is no situation Nick!" I shout exasperated. "I'm dealing with it, there's no need to move!" We stand there in silence, breathing heavily. He sinks into his chair, and I sit across from him.

"Eva, after Mom and dad died, we were alright." He said softly. "Of course, we were both hurting, but it wasn't like this. We did it together, we were helping each other. After... After the incident that all stopped. It's like this big wall was put up between us, we just stopped that communication. And it scares me. You scare me Eva." I stay silent, not looking up.

"Eva, you're dangerous."

"Maybe it wouldn't be so scary if you actually stopped referring to it as the incident." I seethe.

"Are you really ready for that?" He asks seriously. I stare at him, willing myself not to break. "I didn't think so. Eva, you stopped hanging out with your friends, you started hanging out with f*cking Leo Pinnings, that d*ck. Your grades have dropped, Eva- you stopped playing the guitar! That's not you."

I sigh.

"Maybe it is." I hurry down the hall, ignoring his calls to come back.

<><><><>

I guess he's right.

I have changed. But it's not like it's a bad change. I'm still healthy. And it helps. It helps me forget. I kick my door shut, not wanting to cry. I haven't cried since the incident, and it's not going to start now.

I can't believe he's going to make us move. To practically the other side of the country. To live on a stupid farm, in the middle of god knows where, away from everyone we know, with random strangers. It's like he's trying to ruin my life.

I flop onto my bed, too mad to have a civil conversation with anyone, so I turn my phone off, ignoring the messages from Casey and the others. I throw it at the wall, pissed.

Sometimes I do wonder what my life would be like if the incident hadn't happened. I wonder if my brother and I would still be best friends. I remember when my parents died I guess we did have a pretty good relationship. I could tell him anything. We were good.

Maybe I wouldn't be hanging out with the guys under the bridge. I would probably be stuck in the library with Sarah and the rest of them. But that's gone now. And I can't go back.

It practically happened instantly. And it wasn't because of them, it was my fault. I just couldn't be around them. It had to change. When it happened I just couldn't go back to normal. I just couldn't.

And I guess Nick can force me to move. He is my legal guardian. But that doesn't mean I'm going to help. Or be pleasant. Or like it.

They better not make me ride a horse.