The Life of an Introvert

"Hey, you talk!"

The other day during gym, while getting a drink from the water fountain, I happened to make a passing comment to a friend. Something about how good it was that it was Friday. A girl that sat next to me in my language arts class was blown away to hear the sound of my voice. You see, in language arts, I don't say much except to answer questions or talk to my teacher. So the girl stops drinking right away and turns to me.

"Hey, you talk!"

Of course my friend started laughing as soon as she heard this. I tried to be a good sport as well, but something about this comment, which has been said to me many times over the past few years by students who have been shocked to hear me speak, has always bothered me.

"Why don't you talk?" Is something else I've heard a million times before. I'll be covering that one later.

But here's the thing. We do talk. Now granted, I'm sure raising our hands in class to answer a question is not really considered "talking" but what I now understand after many years of interrogation is that sometimes you have to read between the lines. Sometimes it's easy to figure out what this person is really trying to say.

"How come I never hear you talk? Why don't you ever talk to me?"

And you know what? That's perfectly understandable. To someone who likes to talk a lot, someone who doesn't like to talk that much can definitely be a weird or confusing situation.

Putting yourself in another person's shoes, it's simple to understand why this whole thing is confusing and frustrating to other people. We have the option and opportunity to talk. But we don't.

The same people who tell me I never talk would be astounded at the fact that my closest friends constantly have to ask me to shut up. Some people are social butterflies who like talking a lot to everyone, including people they don't know. Other people are quiet around people they don't know well, but still talk to their close friends. I know a lot of people that are very quiet in class, but when they are around their friends and I happen to be nearby, it's like I wouldn't recognize them. A lot of these people are seen as stuck up or snobby, but I don't think that's the case.

I dislike small talk. I'm sure many other people dislike it as well. Even people that tend to talk a lot may dislike small talk. Of course, I will still do it, but it's not always what I prefer. But once you get me started on a conversation about something I'm really passionate about, I don't stop. Just like everyone else, there are certain things I don't like to talk about, and there are certain things I do. When some people are having a bad day, they want to talk about it. I am not one of those people.

This may be exaggerating, but to me, saying "You actually talk!" to a quiet person is kind of like saying "Hey! You finally shut up!" to a person that talks a lot.

Yes, it's kind of funny. Yes, it's just a joke and it's not meant to hurt anyone's feelings, but honestly, it gets kind of old after a while.

If you constantly make it a big deal whenever a quieter kid talks or doesn't talk, they'll actually be less likely to assert their opinions or talk to you. They may feel as if whenever they open their mouth, chaos ensues and they'd be better off keeping it shut.

For example, a quieter kid in my class raised his hand and the teacher said "Guys, let ____ talk. He never talks."

Why is it necessary to tell everyone that he never talks? If you want to show him that you appreciate his input, just focus your attention on him and appreciate what he's saying, instead of the fact that he's saying something.

I think we generally see a talkative person as more cheerful or kind than a quiet person. But honestly, the "you talk" charade can just make it extremely awkward for you and both the person you're saying it to.