The Life of an Introvert

Story #4

A/N: This entry was written by Knightoftherealm. Again, I want to thank them for taking time out of their day to write this. Enjoy!

I've always been a quiet person.

If you met me, you might think I'm an extrovert. My family is loud and friendly, always a blur of people and noise. In class, I don't seem like an introvert. I raise my hand to answer every question I know, and have even been called a teacher's pet.

However, when it comes to group projects, I'm very quiet. Whenever we have to choose partners, I usually hang back until the others have paired up. I end up alone, or pushed together with a stranger. Like Cam said, it can be humiliating, and also awkward working with a stranger.

When I'm with my friends I tend to stay quiet. I'm called out by others to talk, say something, participate in the conversation. I'd love to do so, but I don't feel the need. While I'm listening to them, I'm busy thinking. I don't mean to come across as rude, but I'm busy thinking beyond the conversation, about the world around me.

I've been called cold, unfriendly, and anti-social. It hurts me, but I try not to care. I'm an introvert, so I feel that I shouldn't want to be with people. But sometimes, even I need to be listened to. If you and I had a mutual interest in something, I'd probably talk your ear off. Ideally, I'd discuss what I'm interested in with a small, intimate group of friends. I'm into history, so this hasn't happened...yet. 

If you're not into it, there's a pretty good chance I'd leave you alone. Why? Because you may not care.

Sometimes, I envied my brother. Without trying, he was the center of a large circle of friends. He could walk into a room full of strangers and be friends with everyone by the time he left. I, on the other hand, would drift quietly around the room until I could leave. I was lucky if I even talked to one person. It's been this way since we were little.

For a long time, I was unhappy about this. What was wrong with me? Why was I such a loser? Did nobody like me? Or wasn't I trying hard enough? 

I grew jealous, angry, bitter, and resentful of my brother. I disliked him, especially his extroverted personality. Slowly, I realized that we're all different. Some of us are extroverts, and some are introverts. Some thrive on "social energy" like socializing with others or going to parties, and others thrive on "quiet energy" such as solitude.

Now, I still feel jealous of my brother sometimes. But it's different now, because I'm proud of him. I'm proud of his popularity, his extroverted personality. I know I'll never be the center of attention, won't be like him, but I know that there's nothing wrong with me. Heck-I'm perfectly normal. I think before I speak, which helps a lot in life.

I am not:

-Quiet: I choose when to be loud. Sometimes, I've been known to yell like a foghorn. 

-Shy: Since I don't know you, I'm not an open book. It takes time for me to trust you.

-Cold: My emotions don't dance across my face, but that doesn't mean I don't have any. You know have to know me well enough to know that they're there.

-Serious: I have a sense of humor, but you may not see it at first.

-Antisocial: I can enjoy my own company and that of others. Preferring my own only means that I am comfortable in my own skin, and able to appreciate solitude.

I am just an introvert.