The Life of an Introvert

What Teachers Should Know

It was 6th grade. Fourth period math class. I'm late. I know it. The bell rings as I'm running down the hall. When I finally make my way to class, I yank open the door. My teacher looks up and sees me. I can't tell if she's mad, but she asks me to wait outside. This is only my first tardy, and the entire class is staring at me. Confused as I am, I close the door and wait until the teacher comes outside after she gets the whole class working on their warm-up.

As it turns out, her wanting to talk to me has nothing to do with me being late. She's very serious as she asks me if I'm having a problem or I need help with anything. Then she tells me if I have a problem, I should come to her. I couldn't be more surprised. So I told her there was nothing wrong with me and wondered why she asked.

"Well, it's just that you don't talk that much in class," she said.

This is normally where the problem begins.

This teacher is definitely not the first teacher who has expressed concern about this before. My soccer coach was also very worried about me because I didn't talk that much. So was my swim coach, and my first grade teacher. People assume that little kids love to talk, and this was somewhat true for me, but even as a little kid, I liked listening, writing, and reading more than I liked talking. I would listen and think about the things people said. Sometimes I would write stories about my friends and when I was angry with someone, instead of talking to them about it, I would write them a letter. I still have some of those letters now. No, I will not share them.

I think sometimes teachers misunderstand the quiet kids. A quiet kids may not talk as much, but that doesn't necessarily mean that there's anything wrong with them. It's just the way some people are. Plenty of people are very quiet, but perfectly happy.

I've heard that when asked, teachers described the ideal student for them as a student that talks a lot and participates in class. Kids that talk a lot in class are usually seen as brighter, happier students by teachers.

I was at my locker the other day and the gym teacher walks by talking to the popular kids. This same teacher usually doesn't have conversations with people that are quieter or less popular, even if they attempt to talk to him.The boy next to me says "Why does Mr. _____ only talk to the popular kids?"

The boy at the locker above me says "It makes perfect sense. The popular kids are basically the athletic ones anyway."

Wat.

a) There are plenty of unpopular kids that are athletic.

b) As long as a kid is putting himself forward and attempting to make conversation with a teacher, it shouldn't matter whether or not he is popular

I've noticed teachers in the past who have been confused by us quiet kids. They have thought that we were stubborn, defiant, refusing to learn, stupid, or sometimes have even been scared of us in the past. And while we can come to terms with that, we have to learn to suck it up a little if we're going to get along in school.

I've had a teacher tell me that because I was quiet, she was nervous to talk to me. She thought I would get angry and upset with her. I thought that was a little amusing, but also a little weird.

So, to any teachers or future teachers that may be reading this (assuming you're not busy grading papers or something), some kids don't put themselves forward. They are quiet, but that's no reason to be frightened or worried. It's no reason to feel sorry for them or to get angry at their unwillingness to speak out. Like any other kid, they just need help in areas where they struggle. In this case, speaking out more and asserting themselves when they need to may be that particular area. They're not mad at you. They don't hate you or your class. They're not depressed or upset. They don't need any kind of special treatment.

Of course if you suspect a student is having problems at home or genuinely struggling, there is nothing wrong with reaching out to them. But don't worry if they're just quiet.

Some of them may turn out to be the smartest kid in your class.

We're just ordinary kids, you know? We're not monsters/devils/aliens beamed down from another planet to confuse and bewilder you all.

Now, I'm going to go and take over this planet-I mean eat some chips.