Sex Lessons From Draco Malfoy (Dramione)

Chapter 18*

Draco's POV:

There was a beat of silence in which I realised what a colossal fucking mistake I'd just made, and then Blaise exploded. Well, no, he was always one to keep a level head, but he spoke in the Blaise equivalent to exploding: a low gravelly tone loaded with gravitas.

"Draco? You had better not be taking the piss. Cause it's not bloody funny." Blaise's body language had transformed, he looked ready for a fight.

In a split second, I studied the outcomes of this situation. Telling him I was joking would result in a major loss of trust and increase in suspicion, which was ultimately a negative outcome. I suppose I could murder him, if not for the fact that he'd bested me in a duel before.

I sighed. Guess my only option was to man-up and own my mistake. I winced. How very...Gryffindor, I thought with distaste.

Squaring my shoulders, I nodded. "You heard me."

Blaise simply stared at me, and the moment seemed to last an eternity as he scrutinised me for insincerity. Finally, he exhaled sharply and chuckled. "You lucky bastard. Bloody stupid reckless idiotic bastard, but lucky nonetheless."

I raised an eyebrow. "Honestly?"

Blaise grinned. "Fuck yeah mate. I know you made it your personal mission to sleep with the entirety of Hogwarts, but damn, that Granger is on a whole other level."

I winced at the mention of my former promiscuity, once again ever so glad no one knew the true reason behind it. That would be disastrous. My reputation would never recover.

Satisfied that I wasn't endangering myself or Slytherin house, Blaise hopped onto my bed and lay on his stomach with a giddy expression and tucked his chin in his hands.

I narrowed my eyes again, certain this shift in character would result in annoyance for me. His smile widened knowingly, as if he knew I was bracing myself for annoyance -and was thrilled by the prospect. "What?" I snarled.

Blaise giggled in a falsetto. "Have you guys, you know," he wiggled his eyebrows with a smirk and looked both ways as if searching for the language police before whispering, "done the do?"

I pulled my hair back from my face and tight against my skull, widening my eyes at the floor as if asking it what the hell was wrong with Blaise. The floor remained impassive, apparently unwilling to divulge the secrets of the mad.

Yet before I could even formulate a witty retort, Blaise gasped sharply and was at my side in an instant, his hands on my shoulders. "Draco!"

I groaned and shrugged his hands off me. "What?"

"That means she chose you over the Weasel! That's delicious, I have to tell everyone!"

I stiffened. "Don't."

He frowned curiously. "But I want to!" he whined.

"It's not as simple as I made it sound. There are delicate things it's best not to share with the school."

He pouted, but perked up when he realised that meant he had leverage over me. "I'll keep it to myself, but I have to know: how did you win Granger over?"

I sighed internally, knowing that I hadn't yet persuaded her to come over to the proverbial dark side (though we did, in fact, have cookies), but I masked my internal response well with a grin and a wink. "I guess she liked what she saw and just couldn't resist."

Blaise's face fell into confusion. "Wait, I thought you hadn't figured out a way to fix your micropenis."

I groaned.