The Barefoot Girl

Chapter 17

Lacy seems more excited to be going home once we all pile into the car.

But I don't think I've seen Mom or Dad smile once during this whole time. Mom keeps blowing her nose and dabbing at her eyes with tissues.

I'm scared.

The others don't even seem to notice. They just talk and laugh with Lacy.

I wish more than anything that I wasn't so tense so I could enjoy this moment.

When we pull up to our house, I begin to step out of the car but I'm stopped as I feel a little hand slip into mine.

I look behind to see Lacy staring at me with eyes filled with pure love, but also fear...

I grasp her hand back and try to reassure her with a smile. We walk into the house together.

Lacy puts her thumb into her mouth and her eyes start darting all around the house. It's the same house we were in before her kidnapping and it pains me to think how unfamiliar it must seem to her now.

Mom mutters something about washing some sheets for Lacy and hustles away.

I see Michelle and Megan exchange a look. It looks like they both know what the other is thinking. They always did seem to have twin telepathy.

All of us begin to help Lacy re-familiarize herself with the space. We get to her room and all of us stand there for a moment, staring at the closed door.

We had thought it a good idea to clean the space out, thinking we'd never see her again. But none of us ever had the heart.

For as long as she's been gone, her old stuff has been sitting there, behind that closed door. No one every touched anything, and it even hurt to look.

Liam reached for the knob and swings the door open. Lacy's bed is unmade and dolls, clothes and toys are everywhere. There has to be at least ten spider webs. Lacy giggles.

"Really? No one cleaned my room at all?"

We all smile at her and Liam shrugs, exaggerating the movement.

Lacy's hand finally unlatches from mine and she slowly walks around the room. She then sits in the middle of the floor next to her favorite AmericanGirl doll, Felicity.

Gingerly, she runs her fingers through her tangles hair. Then she reaches up and touches her own bald head.

Benjamin slowly walks up behind her and squats down.

"You're beautiful," he whispers, squeezing her shoulders.

Lacy's silent and she begins stroking the dolls hair again.

I self-consciously run my hands through my own hair.

I didn't realize all the little things I've always taken for granted.

Lacy starts to talk in an almost meditative tone.

"Do you remember... How I would beg Bridgey to play dolls with me till she agreed? And how Liam would rather play mermaids than cars?"

Tears begin to glisten in her eyes but she's smiling too.

"Remember how I would get mad whenever Megan and Michelle said the shows I watched were weird and I should watch Hannah Montana instead?"

She turned around to face all of us.

"I talked about you every day because I didn't want to forgot you."

No one knew what to say so everyone just slowly and awkwardly came and formed a little circle.

Liam then broke the silence by saying,

"I still like mermaids."

We all chuckle.

Then, everyone proceeds to join in on the stroll down memory lane. Even Benjamin seemed unfazed by the known fact that Lacy had failed to keep any recollection of him.

______________________

That night, Lacy gets a clean set of sheets as well as many other luxuries.

Everyone pampers Lacy willingly including me. But Lacy just insists with such sincerity,

"I'm happy because I'm with you guys," whenever offered chocolates or a massage.

Everyone had gone to bed, except me. I had been glued to a book right after we saw Lacy to bed. I finally decided to take a shower- at eleven o'clock.

I was crossing the hall to my bedroom when I heard small cries coming from Lacy's room.

I do a double take. It's not my imagination.

I tiptoe into the room.

"Lacy?"

The sniffs stop suddenly.

"Lacy, are you ok?" I call softly.

I walk further in and knell beside her bed.

"Bridgey? I... I didn't know you wet up," Lacy says.

I force her to look in my eyes.

"What's wrong?" I ask again.

She heaves a sigh that sounds like it belongs to someone much older. Someone who's seen too much pain in their life.

"It hurts," she whimpers.

"What does?" I push her.

Even on the dark, I can see the tears start to spill over.

"Everything... My body, my emotions..."

"What do you mean honey?" I ask, willing myself not to cry.

"You're going to be better. You're home!"

Lacy sighs again.

"Bridgey... I'm not better... And... I... I'm not going to be," she says choking on her words.

My efforts are no good any more and tears push their way to the surface.

"Lacy don't be ridiculous," I insist.

"They wouldn't have sent you home if you were still sick."

"Bridge, I don't feel better... I feel worse. Mommy told me that the doctor said I'm too sick and nothing will help. They could've done something but they needed someone called a donor and without one... She talked to me when you were in the shower."

My breath becomes short and the tears come faster and faster.

"Why didn't anyone tell me? And the others?" I demand.

"Mommy said she wanted everyone to be happy for a little bit before the news."

"No, NO!" I cry.

"It can't be..."

Lacy's own tears streak across her face and she whispers,

"Bridge?"

I just look at her, unable to find words.

"Will you sleep with me?" she requests.

I nod and climb into the bed next to her.

We both cry ourselves to sleep, holding onto each other as though if we wished hard enough, this would all turn out to be just a bad dream.