Afraid • l.h

Chapter 39 • "I can't say 100%"

Tilly's POV

Once we are inside I walk over and sit on the bed hoping Luke would do the same but he continues standing and pacing up and down my room. Something tells me he is nervous. Trying to catch his attention I attempt to make eye contact with him and when I do I nod assuring it's okay.

"Okay, well um... when I was 16 and after losing not only my best friend but the one I loved I um.. I lost myself. Everything from my grades to my friends. I became a bad person in a bad place. I simply didn't care anymore." I want to cry. "I skipped class, went to parties and got so drunk that I didn't know what I was doing. That then lead to taking advantage over girls and I would you know. But I promise you." He knees in front of me. "I promise you I have changed."

"Are you sure? I need to know 100%" I say.

"I can't say 100%"

"Then I'm afraid I can't do this anymore."

"Wha- no you can't be serious."

"Until you know 100% Luke I just can't okay?"

"Okay." He walks back to the balcony and I hear him climb down but I don't watch because I know it would be too hard. The sight of Luke was now not only my fear but t my weakness as well and I had to know for sure that he had changed because I can't be in a relationship with the risk of being dropped.

That night I silently cry myself to sleep as I realise I've lost the one I love. There is only one person to blame however and that's me.

**

It had been 3 days since I had last seen Luke and it was now Tuesday lunch at school. Everyone apart from Luke is here and Ashton of course. No one has seen him in the past few days and he hasn't been attending school. It was a slight good thing although it did worry me and I think people were picking up on it.

"Do you really not know where he is?" Calum breaks me from my thoughts.

"What? No I have no clue." I reply.

"It's worrying you isn't it?" He asks.

"Not at all. He can take care of himself Calum." I say.

"Yeah okay." He says with slight sarcasm enough for me to question why he had that tone of voice.

Last period flys by and I am soon on the bus home. When I arrive at my house and step onto the drive way I notice an unfamiliar car. I unlock the front door to reveal my mother with another woman who I can't see because he head is down. I notice she is crying and as I shut the door both of their heads shoot up. Luke's mum?

"Tilly, where's Luke is he with you?" Liz asks in desperation no I really am worried.

"No I thought he was at home."

"We haven't seen him for three days. I thought he may be here with you."

I didn't know what to say. I couldn't possibly tell Luke's mum we broke up because that would involve explaining why and that's not my story to tell.

"Wait here." I say running up stairs to make a phone call.

Ring. Ring. Ring.

"Hello." Ashton answers.

"Meet me at the coffee house now."

"Why?"

"I need your help."

"Okay I'll leave now."

"Don't bring anyone with you."

"I won't."