broodings

perceptions of perfection

a star implodes,

and it reminds me of vincent van gogh's the starry night,

but the thing is,

it's a bath bomb,

fizzing away in lukewarm water,

i slip into the cold marble bath,

and it feels like someone is caressing my skin, telling me everything's alright,

it feels like everything i've ever wanted,

the water's purple and blue now,

and i think it might be my new favourite colour,

because it reminds me of supernovas and dark, cold nights,

and because the water distorts my body,

makes me look beautiful,

even if i am all out of proportion,

there's a song playing in the background,

and i don't know what it is,

but it sounds like someone is crooning to me,

and it's so, so nice,

even if the lyrics are violent,

and the tempo sounds like a heart going into cardiac arrest,

finders keepers, losers weepers,

long after my fingers wrinkle up and the water goes cold,

i stand up,

and i'm reminded of how my body really looks,

because no matter how many times people tell me,

'oh my god, how are you so skinny?'

and 'i wish i could have your body, you're so cute'

i still don't feel beautiful,

because people are always talking about my ribs,

which you can see even when i'm breathing out,

or my shoulder blades, which stick out like angel's wings emerging,

or my hipbones, which could impale something if i so much as hugged you,

but they're never talking about my thighs,

which might as well just replace africa,

and my calves, which are more like baby cows than parts of my anatomy,

because that's how messed up society is,

i let the blue water drain out, and i turn the shower on,

so hot it scalds my skin,

and i step under it,

so i can get the glitter out of my hair,

but no matter how many times i wash it,

the glitter remains,

and it looks like galaxies hidden behind a fog,

whenever my hair hits the light,

well that was depressing. oops.

this is only partially based on personal experience, as i'm actually perfectly happy with my body. please, if you feel that way about your body, talk to someone. get it out of your system. i'm here. your friends are there. your parents are there.

btw i was describing how beautiful the lush bath bomb shoot for the stars looked and felt. indulge yourself, seriously, they're amazing. even if they do cost around £5 (a little under $7) it's like a little spa all to yourself

i'm going to shut up because i sound like a dickhead bye

- r.s.