broodings

LET ME BE.

sorry i haven't updated in a while, i've been busy with schoolwork and tests and stuff. i have a 2 week break coming up soon, so during that i'll probably be writing lots. for now, here's a short poem thing that i wrote when i was feeling a little down.

some people tell me i'm a girl of few words,
others tell me to shut up,

some tell me to cheer up, there's nothing wrong,
others tell me to calm down, the world isn't that great of a place,

and some people tell me i'm a pessimist,
some say 'stop being so optimistic, the sky is falling.'

some say 'she's a ray of bloody sunshine,' not meaning it at all,
some say the same, meaning it so much,

some tell me to sing more often, my voice is beautiful,
some tell me to stop singing, i sound like i'm in pain,

and because they tell me these things,
around them, i am the person they tell me i am,

so with my family, i'm quiet as a mouse,
i speak maybe twice a gathering,

and when i do talk, it's all, 'oh, we're going to die.'
and when i sing, i do it quietly, so their ears don't bleed,

so with my friends, they never get a word in,
i'm cheerful and reassuring, 'you're not going to die, everything will be alright.'

and when i sing, it's loud and brave,
and they tell me it's beautiful, even if i don't ask,

so sometimes i don't know who i am,
the pessimist or the optimist,

the goody two shoes who never speaks,
or the loud spunky girl who forgets all her homework,

and dear god it makes my head hurt,
quiet, loud, quiet, loud,

dark thoughts,
sunny thoughts,

JUST LEAVE ME ALONE,
LET ME BE.

i am not the girl you tell me i am,
just as you are not the person i tell you you are.

-r.s.