broodings

sleeping beauty

i was sick + v sad when i wrote this so if it's shit that's why

i want to wander downstairs,
teddy bear in hand, wrapped
in a dressing gown like it's my
only hope of staying warm,
like i used to, like i used to,
i want to tell my mama i just
wanted a mug of warm milk,
i want her to smile, ruffle my
hair and ask me which mug
i want like she always did,
and normally, i would tell
her something silly about my
day at school, 'v poked james
today. everyone thinks they're
in love.' like i used to. like i
used to. but today, mama, i
want to say, 'mama, i am so
tired. and it's not actual
physical tiredness, because,
mama, i slept 12 hours last night
and the three days before that
i slept practically all day,
but mama, i feel lethargic,
everything takes so much
damn energy to do,
mama, it takes me ages just
to get myself to stand.
so when you dismiss me
asking you to pass something
to me when i can reach it myself
as laziness, trust me, mama, it's
not. mama, i'm so tired.'
but i don't wander downstairs,
i don't ask for a mug of warm milk,
i don't tell her how exhausted i am,
i just lay in bed, ready to sleep for a
thousand years.