Olivia Benson's Daughter

Chapter nine

Chapter 9

I don't know how long this chapter will end up being so bare with me.

Katie's POV

I woke up and immediately checked  my phone remembering what I had texted Amanda last night. I was pleased to see that she had said "anytime" because she had taken the day off.

I quickly jumped out of bed and slipped into a pair of distressed black jeans and a crewneck sweatshirt Amanda had gotten me last Christmas, then I laced up my vans and headed to the kitchen. "Hey momma" I said as I skipped in toward the counter clutching the little white note in my pocket. I sat down with a sweet smile on my face lighting up my pale cheeks. "What are you up to little chickadee?" Liv said mocking my grin. "Oh nothing" I said "just heading to Amanda's" I added as Liv tossed me a cliff bar "eat that and don't forget your phone" she paused and smiled, "do you want a ride?" She asked. "Mommm" I said dragging out the "m" "it's two buildings over" I said giggling "yes Kate but it's cold" she said walking around the counter to hand me my jacket and kissing my forehead. Then she watched me take my medicine and added "stay safe and text me when you get there" I heard her say as I slipped my ear buds in and smiled giving her a fervent wave as I closed the door.

The cold wind hit my face as I left my building through the heavy bronze doors. As I reached Amanda's complex a familiar face caught my eye sitting on the bench, I decided since my eyesight was unreliable at a distance I would text Amanda and tell her I was outside. This did not curb my curiosity so I glanced up not realizing how close I had gotten to the familiar figure... It was, AUGGIE?! He gave me a crooked smile noticing I had looked up at him. I quickly glanced down at my shoes and walked into the lobby of Amanda's apartment and started to ring her bell vigilantly looking over my shoulder waiting for Auggie to move off the bench. "Katie?" I heard a voice ask abruptly before it was followed by static, I soon realized it was Amanda on the intercom and I answered "yes" I heard the lock click and I quickly opened and closed the door still staring at Auggie. I had noticed he gave me a small menacing smile as the elevator doors closed.

I knocked on her door softly but with urgency, I was pleased to hear Amanda's footsteps right away. She open the door and I subconsciously let out a sigh of relief and she stretched out her arms and I walked into her embrace, nestling my head into her chest. I looked up at her and we shared the same thought of the small sheet of yellowing paper now creased in my pocket. I didn't realize how tightly I had been clutching it in my pocket on the way to Amanda's. She closed the door and motioned to the couch and I sat down Indian style on the far side. I smelt her morning pot of coffee and she noticed "want some hun?"  She asked with her southern accent thicker than usual. "Sure" I said with a smile, I loved her southern drawl it was homely, soothing almost.

Amanda handed me a cup of hot coffee and I held it in both hands absorbing its warmth, as I had just slipped off my jacket. The cool draft from the window was chilling as it traveled through my shirt sleeves hitting the rest of my body with a sting. She sat down next to me and I finished up the remains of my energy bar and put the wrapper in my pocket.

"So" she said, "I assume you found my note" I looked up at her still cupping the mug between my hands, resting it in between my legs. "Yes" I said softly, we faced each other now and I could feel her scanning my body with her eyes as I looked down into my lap at the steam rising off the cup of coffee, swirling, she did it the way Liv did, looking desperately for any emotion she could pick up on. "Manda" I said looking up at her, my eyes misty. She took my hand in hers softly "yes love bug" she said knowing what was coming. "Manda, what did you mean by" I paused 'something similar'? I said tailing off. I expected her to answer but she pulled me closer and I turned  sideways laying my head on her shoulder. Silently, she briefly put her arm around me and rubbed mine softly before bringing her arms to her waistband, she pulled down one side past her hip to reveal several crooked scars various lengths across her underwear line. I turned to look into her watering eyes I hugged her so tight, easing up over time, we just sat there in a comforting silence letting our tears hit each others shoulders.

After some time I slowly looked up into her glassy blue eyes as if I was looking into the ocean after a storm, beautiful and damaged. Her eyes told the story her mouth didn't have to. She was broken then mended she chose to wear her scars with triumph instead of sorrow and despair. She gave me a subtle smile showing no teeth I returned it and ran my hand over the uneven scars as she watched me I felt a peace reach my mind. "They don't define you" she whispered "this can be ours to keep" she said starting to lock her fingers with mine before the emotion hit me again, this time like a title wave "I'm so sorry" I sobbed unyielding "I'm sorry, so sorry" *sobbing continues* "I...I" I was so fragile laying there in her lap. I felt her arms wrap around me and her hands on mine as I softly clenched my fist starting to pound on my legs unable to express the feelings that had taken over my body, until her touch ceased the action, she held me closer. Every time I gasped for air she rubbed my back slowly, with meaning that only we could feel. I looked into her eyes seeing a new meaning, they told her story and it filled me with emotion. For once I felt understood, we had an unbreakable understanding and I couldn't begin to speak of it.

I can't tell if that was long enough but there is more to come so hang in there kiddos!