cannibal. // Levi X !Bipolar Reader

Chapter VII

"Explain yourself. Carefully. Affirm, explain and illustrate. I want a clear explanation of why in the living fuck you did that for."

We were located in the back part of the restaurant where the 'tragedy', - that's actually how he called it - occurred. Bizarrely I didn't feel guilt, nor regret. I felt proud and,

Relieved.

Of what?

Never knew.

"I was - having fun.", I clumsily answered.

He released a 'tch'. Oh God. The feeling of idiocy just kept growing.

"So your definition of having fun is wrecking people's pride and feeling absolute proudness afterwards? The correct term would be 'acting like a jealous bitch'."

Wait, what?

He called me bitch?

Jealous bitch?

"You have no rights in treating me like that! You don't even know my real attentions! And that's your fault if I'm all acting up like this! Why the fuck am I feeling?! That's all because of you!"

I cried out, staring down at the ground to hide my gathering tears. Fuck Levi. He was making me feel all this.

Sadness.

Hatred.

Envy.

Jealousy.

Betrayal.

Loneliness.

Never knew the definition of these words before he came into my life and fucked everything up. Damn me. I could've slept with the noise that night. Everything to avoid him.

He didn't say anything, and since a few minutes past, I decided to make him feel what I was feeling.

"Yeah, why in the living hell am I feeling that? Huh?! Bastard!"

I sobbed. Fuck. Not in front of him.

"You always seem so neutral about everything, feelingless and careless of what people think! You imbecile just keeps on living your beautiful life, in company of people you actually care about! What do you know about my past?! About what I endure everyday to try and be like all these girls that are happy and confident about themselves, huh?! TELL ME!"

Don't cry.

"How fucking dare you making me feel these shitty things?! If only you knew how envious I am! If only..."

Please don't.

"... I'm so weak... I only wish I could be strong like them..."

[F/N], it's forbidden to cry.

"They're so happy, with friends..."

Hide your pitiful tears, no one likes them.

"Why can't I be like them... Why can't I be like you?! WHY?! HOW ARE YOU DIFFERENT THAN ME?!"

"Shut your filthy mouth."

Slam.

His hand brutally made contact with my cheek, causing a loud skin to skin noise to emit.

He slapped me.

My flowing tears flew away from my cheeks due to the brutal contact, as my sobbing suddenly stopped. I simply held my damaged cheek, my eyes widening at what he had done.

"Idiot. Because you think it's easy to have self control."

He sighed in disappointment.

"You don't seek happiness. You obtain it. Just like a seed. Push it through dirt, and wait for the sky to darken to allow some water. Understand this, darkness is needed in order to grow."

Each word stapled in my mind.

"If a flower compares its beauty with another, where would be the uniqueness of this one?"

He bent down to my height.

"You're afraid. Afraid of losing the battle you're dealing with. We all have our own problems, our own sins and shameful sides. Even I do."

The last sentence made my eyes widen.

"What you're feeling isn't really jealousy. It's weakness. You're right, you're truly weak."

I grunted.

"I've dealt with my battle a long time ago. It left a scar. That supposed "feelingless" thing. Some people grow stronger after it. Because they don't compare themselves to better people, they look up to them. If you keep putting yourself down,

how will that seed grow?"

He was so right.

So right.

So damn right.

I have to look up to Levi, not compare him to me.

I feel so envious about him. I wish I could be like him. So careless. So blunt. So responsible. So thoughtful. So...

"Perfect...", I mumbled, wiping away the tears from my tan cheeks.

"Hm?", his husky voice requested.

Only a week went by since we met. And I already felt this close to him. He made me feel. He was the one who made me feel.

"You didn't deserve a single thing that I pitifully said to you. I greatly..."

I bit my lower lip in shame.

And then my brain came to the rescue.

"Hey, care for a cup of tea?"

I said as quickly as possible, trying to make it sound accurate.

"Don't try and apologize. It's not like the [F/N] I met."

He grabbed my ear and pulled me out, as I whined painfully.

"Just be the usual, imbecile, stubborn, uneducated tomsboy I've known."

I cringed at the insults.

"And you're paying."

"Why's that?! I've paid last time!", I slapped his arm in anger.

"Because of the pride wrecker a few hours ago."

"You motherfucker."

He slapped the back of my head harshly.

"What the fuck, Levi?!"

Oh and yeah.

He also made me feel love.

A/N: Levi is so OOC here rip
oh and yeah I changed my username to UnusualDelicacy, MrsAkkaman sounded too weeblike??/?/?