My Best Mistake

no going back

Rudimental featuring John Newman and Alex Clare- not giving in
I believe this song is suited for this chapter.

Jessie.

I woke up with light blue eyes staring at me. Curious light blue eyes. I looked around to comprehend where the hell I was. I let out a groan as every thing started coming back to me.

"Hi" with a voice so light and a face that held such child like innocence.

"Hey buddy" this isn't the way I wanted to first speak to him. Hungover from wallowing in my sorrows.

"Who are you" he asked with a tilted head a curiosity on his face. How should I answer that, I mean I know what I should say but Natalia won't like that and I'm not on her good side as of the moment.

"Umm I'm a good friend of your mommy's" I said with a sigh.

"Like uncle theo"

That must be the name of the guy i saw her with. I was getting irritated now.

"No I'm a way better friend to your mommy than him"

"Ok, wanna play "

"Umm sure want do you wanna play"

"Cars" we started playing, well more like he started playing and I kept looking really interested.

I heard footsteps and saw Natalia coming down the stairs with no expression on her face. She looked like she didn't sleep a wink.

"Tyler go play in your room, mommy needs to talk to Jessie ok"

"But we playing"

"Tyler go now, I don't want to repeat myself!"

"Ok" he said barely above a whisper. He dragged his body up the stairs looking really sad.

"You didn't have to yell at him"

"Jessie shut up ok, don't tell me how to raise my kid, look we need to talk about yesterday, do you remember what happend".

"Umm yeah I do and I meant every word i said".

We were sitting in awkward silence for a while.

"Jessie it can't ever happen again"

"Why"

" What do you mean why, becuase what we did makes me no better than what my sister did."

"But I meant every thing I said, I still love you and I want to be with you".

She put both hands on her face, flipped her hair back and looked at me.

"Jessie do you think I'll ever be able to for give what you did".

I was about to speak but she held her hand up.

"Let me finish, do you think I would be able to forgive a you, the man I married who slept with my sister. Jessie it wasn't a stranger that you slept with. It was my sister, my own flesh and blood and for a year. It hurt jess and it still hurts. You know people always say it's better to forgive but sometimes they don't know what the hell they're talking about, and the worst part about is I still have love for you".

"Jessie I was, I mean I am still upset and maybe that's why I didn't want you around Tyler. I thought you would hurt him like you did me, but I can't keep holding on so I guess I'll let you be in his life".

"So that's it we're done, no second chance, we still love each other". I was desperate at this point.

"Love doesn't solve all our problems, its an emotion that can either make you the happiest person ever or make you so sad you dont know what to do with youself. Put yourself in my shoes jess. If I had sex with your brother or even any one of your family members, hell even a stranger, would you forgive me".

......

"That's what I thought. Look I'll call you a cab so you can go pick up your car and after that we can discuss you seeing Tyler. I don't want to put him through a court battle. I need to start putting him first".

I didn't know what to say. What could I fucking say.

"Ok" Really 'ok' common man.

"Good I'll get the cab number. You need to go home to your soon to be wife".

She said with a smile that didn't reach her eyes. She walked up the stairs and I felt like those stairs was our relationship. Every step she took away from me meant there was no going back.

There's no fixing what I did and has hard as it was to admit she was right.

..but that didn't mean I was gonna give up.

Im back!!! I had to give you guys a little something for my long departure. It isn't as long has the other chapters. But I felt like it summed it up well.

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