Bulletproof

69.

Lou Teasdale slays my life.

69. As Hard As It May Be...

"Do you want anything to eat? Drink? Smell? Look at?" I ramble on.

"I'm alright" He chuckles.

"Alright, well uh, we can sit here, or my room, Oliver's room, the bathroom..." I continue to ramble, not understand why I'm so nervous, I mean it's just Austin.

"Here is fine" 

"Okay" I sit down on the couch, Austin sitting next to me. I shift in my spot, until I can find a comfortable position.

"Are you okay? You seem nervous" Austin chuckles.

"I'm fine, great, good, dandy" 

"Okay, I don't need to know all the synonyms to the word great" 

"I'm sorry" I sigh "I don't know why I'm freaking out so bad, I guess the last time didn't really go so well" I mumble.

"I'm not going to yell at you" He shakes his head "We said no yelling, remember?" 

"Yeah, you're right" I nod, taking a deep breath. 

"How about I talk first?" He says, and I nod "Okay, well first I want to apologize for the other day a lot of the things I said was uncalled for, and I'm sorry for yelling. I didn't mean it when I accused you of playing me, but that's what it felt like. I felt like this summer had meant nothing to you, when it meant everything to me. I know that you staying in Miami was important to you, and that's why I had called so many times after I had left. I wasn't necessarily going to beg you to take me back, but I just wanted to fix it, I wanted to tell you that I understood why you stayed and that I respect your decision even though initially I was angry about it" He says, letting out a small sigh "All I wanted was to talk to you, and I had tried so hard, but it seemed like you hated me" 

"I don't hate you" I shake my head "And I also don't think you should be apologizing for the other because I was the only one at fault. I made you look like the bad guy, and I just wanted to deny that I was in the wrong. I know you tried to call, and I know you tried a long time but I was just so hurt that I ignored you. I had no other way of coping except to ignore you because I was scared that if I had answered the phone, and we would've talked it out then I would've regretted staying with my mom because I wanted to be with you, and truth be told I still do" I sigh, running my hand through my hair.

"I wasn't playing you, at first I was, but it lasted about a week before I realized that I was still crazily in love with you. Choosing to stay in Miami was the hardest decision I've ever had to make, but in the end, family comes first for me, and I had to choose my mom over everything. But I think the thing that hurt the most was you telling me you wouldn't wait for me, I knew it wouldn't happen and I knew you'd eventually find someone but actually hearing it, hurt. I didn't want to believe it, but I knew it'd happen eventually and I just had to accept it" I continue, a small frown on my face, tears filling my eyes.

"I'm going to be honest, I had said that to intentionally hurt you, and I know that seems awful but I wanted you to feel at least a fraction of what I had felt. I hadn't planned on dating anyone else, it was just something that happened between me and Aspen, it's not like I had made a move on her just to spite you because she was the one who made a move on me" He shrugs "So once again, I'm apologizing for hurting you"

"And I apologize for everything I've ever done to hurt you, because I regret it very much and if I could take it back I would" I sigh, a small tear falling down my cheek.

"Please don't cry" He frowns, wiping at my tear with his thumb.

"What now?" I ask, bringing my knees to my chest.

"I don't know" He shakes his head.

"Do you think we could be friends? Like could we manage it?" I ask "It didn't work so well last time, considering the term friend had a prefix added to it within a month" I chuckle.

"Well, we'll have to wait and see" He shrugs.

"So, friends?" 

"As hard as it may be..." He trails off with a sigh "Friends" He nods, standing up. I stand up with him, and he opens his arms for a hug. I hesitate for a moment before wrapping my arms around his neck tightly, savoring the moment. His hand rubs circles on my back and I squeeze my eyes tightly, remembering how his hugs feel, how they make me feel. 

All too soon he pulls away, a small smile on his face "I'll see you around?" He states as more of a question.

"Yeah, see you" I nod, walking him to my door. He gives me one more quick hug before walking out of my apartment, leaving me alone. I shut the door, and walk into my room, flopping down onto my bed with a loud huff.

"So tell me why I just saw Austin leaving our apartment?" Oliver walks into my room, a confused look on his face

"We talked everything out, and now we're going to just be friends" I shrug.

"Remember what happened last time? You were back together within a month" He rolls his eyes.

"Well he has a girlfriend, and I have a Dylan" 

"That didn't stop him when Ella wanted him" He fires, and I choke on my spit.

"Really Oliver?" 

"I'm just making sure that you remember that he hurt you multiple times" He grumbles.

"Yes Oliver, I know" I roll my eyes "But that doesn't mean you can just say that" I say, in both anger and surprise that he'd say that.

"I'm just saying Brogan, I don't like seeing you hurt"  

"I know Oliver and I won't be" I shake my head, and as he huffs and walks out of my room, I do nothing but hope that what I'm saying is true.

:::

Hi!

I got this in just enough time for my laptop to tell me to plug it in :)

I love you all,

Bad_Boy_Hemmo