In French

Chapter Fourteen

        The day that Josepha left for Andorra it was a somewhat tearful day. I kissed her on both cheeks, she used her thumb to dab away my tears. “I only came back to make my little baby sister better and I think that I can say I succeeded. Now, write plenty of letters to me, I want to know all of the courting gossip.”

    I nodded through bleary tears. “I’m just saddened to be alone again. I am just being foolish and selfish. Ignore me, please.” I shook my head not liking to show so much emotion with the strong possibility of people spying on us.

    She pulled my hand into hers and kissed the back of it and then curtsied. I blushed hating how she felt obliged to do so. Philip stood beside me like a glass of water, cool and still with his hands behind his back and gave a juddering nod to my sister. “May I thank you so very much for keeping my wife happy and occupied over these troubling weeks. The debt that I owe you can never be paid.”

    Josepha flushed and curtsied to him as well. “It has been no trouble at all Your Highness as I am always grateful and happy to visit my sister. Thank you for being so hospitable to me.”

    He blinked and nodded again. Josepha broke eye contact and curtsied to him and then reached out, squeezed my hand lightly as she walked on by. I watched her walk out of the entrance with her footmen and I couldn’t stand to watch. With a shuddering sob I turned away as I felt Philip brush out and take my hand in his. I glanced at him and a fair few people saw me wrench free of his grip and walk quickly away. I needed to get into a private room and stop crying. I looked like an awful state.

 ******

    “I have decided to throw a ball in your honor.” I glanced up at Philip as he sat on an armchair rolling his sleeves up.

    “Why on earth would you do that?” I asked.

    He frowned, “because I can? And because I want to lift your spirits.” It’s about time he noticed that something wasn’t right with me.

    The thought of a ball was sort of exciting and nice and good. It was something that I was supposed to do, something that I could do without crying or spoiling it. I permitted a small smile to tease its way onto my lips. “Thank you. That’s a lovely thought.”

    He got to his feet flicking a speck of invisible dust off of him as he strode over to me. My heartbeat sped up, I wasn’t used to being this close to him anymore. It was sort of like our first time again. I scratched the back of my hand nervously. “Excellent. It will take place in three days time.”

    “Surely that is not enough time to organise it.”

    He shrugged, “that’s not my concern. If I tell them to jump then the only question they will reply is with ‘how high?’ Do not concern yourself with matters like that, I’ll have the finest dress tailor in the land around tomorrow. Masked or not?” He added as an afterthought. I loved the mystical beauty of everyone in masks.  

    “Masked.” My smile was stretching.

    He took my hands in his and kissed them with his eyes resting upon mine all the while. “As you wish my wife.” He straightened up and for the first time in a long time I felt closer to him once more.

    “Philip?” I asked softly.

    “Yes?”

    “I love you, I don’t show it enough anymore but I do.”

    He nodded his head once, “I will never cease to adoring and loving you, my Dauphine.” He kissed my cheek and then hurried off to goodness knew where.

    Agate came around, Senor Vargas told me as such and we took a turn about the palace gardens together, chattering away enchanted by each other. “So you must get fitted for a gown when this tailor arrives as well.” I told her after explaining the ball.

    “Oh no, I could not possibly,” she frowned and shook her head, “my husband would never permit it.”

    I wrinkled my nose as we grazed over the soft, fluttering grass with the lazy rays of the sun falling upon us. “Well your husband would not dare contest the Dauphine would he?”

    She laughed darkly, “I am pretty certain that he would try his upmost, my sweet Anna.”

    I sighed a little then, everyone would want to contest against me, I was loathed wasn’t I? The most unladylike Dauphine that there ever was, my habits causing scandal and outrage wherever I stepped within my own home with rumors of malice. “I suppose I should have expected as much.”

    “Oh please don’t take that to heart,” she squeezed my hand, “he is like that with everyone. He never parts with his money.”

    “I never see the point in that, it’s not as if one can take the gold to heaven.”

    “Well, our entire system is built on who has the most money and power.”

    “And we control neither.” I sighed.

    “Not at all my friend,” Agate disagreed, “the gold may not come from our pocket so to speak but the power that we hold in ourselves is something that is underestimated and spectacular.”

    I paused and made eye contact with her, “what on earth do you mean?” 

    “For instance, who is the one that holds the womb? The treasure box to which an heir is produced?”

    I shook my head, “I have heard of stories where husbands have simply forced themselves upon their wives when they do not wish to make love. It is not like we can control that.” I hesitated. “However, I would not ever expect the Dauphin to ever force himself onto me.”

    “Love, games, enticement.” She went on. “I have had at least three separate lovers since my marriage.” My mouth dropped open and she grinned at me as she flicked out her fan which was a beautiful intricate floral design. “Have you not taken on a lover?”

    I flushed and my eyes wandered uncomfortably over everything before me, “the Dauphin is my lover.”

    Longingly, Agate sighed as if my words merely weighed down her spirit, “oh to have a marriage like yours. That really is a rare gift that has been beheld to you. Oh,” she jumped and I laughed, “I just recalled, what about when we thrashed the betrothal between the Dauphin and the Princess of Denmark? Was that not us flexing our feminine powers to get what we wanted?”

     I watched her enlightened face with her bright features and dainty smile. “Yes,” I gave in, “yes I suppose you are correct. Although I do not like to ponder over that if I can help it. I feel so terribly awful about it all.”

    “Why? You won.” She grinned flapping her fan in front of her face and fluttering a few stray hairs.

    “At her expense.”

    “You’re the Dauphine, the world is your oyster and you are concerned about some engagement that did not even begin to get anywhere. Please, I am positive that she is already married off.”

    “You honestly believe so?”

    “But of course!” She lent into me. “I could make some enquiries on your behalf if you so wish and find out what is going on.”

    “You would do that?” I frowned in earnest.

    “Yes, if that is what will set your mind at ease.”

    “It is, thank you very much, Agate.” We continued promen-ading around the gardens. I trailed my fingers through the pretty colours of the soft petals that the gardeners kept in such pristine condition.

    “So,” Agate squeezed my arm and gave me a wicked grin, “would you care to hear my latest encounter with a rather handsome young gentleman from Russia?” She winked and I giggled as she began to delve into the dirty details which probably made my cheeks redden. I adored having Agate around; she was a breath of fresh air and made the pang of longing that I had for Josepha lessened.