In French

Chapter Twenty seven

    I couldn’t stand it. I needed to escape the rumours yet I was conflicted with the reality that if I left Versailles to go to Paris as I wished then it would only feed these wretched lies. Stuck. I was unbelievably, unescapably stuck. I tended tirelessly to my children, ensuring their happiness while at the same time making sure they were out of venomous earshot. By throwing myself relentlessly into parenting I hoped to try and escape the suffocating pressure of the socialites. I felt my energy levels waver, it was as if I was being held down in a pond while these leeches sucked me dry.

    I kept Senor Vargas close by too, he was my spy as well as Agate and Giselle who had been with me throughout the time where I was supposedly with my ‘peasant lover’ and were completely on my side. As they should for I was innocent! I could have screamed my innocence until I was blue in the face and they'd still never believe me which was frightening because it felt as though I was hostage to rumours and powerless to my people.

    “Mama,” August came up to me as I stood overlooking my children playing outside.

    I came out of my dark thoughts, forcing a loving smile his way, “Yes my love?” It was a truly gorgeous day, the thousands of delicate flowers swayed in a smooth current of breeze and the sun shone warmly through the ever moving clouds. Versailles stood tall and elegant yet dominated the backdrop with the wealth and power of the French monarchy, of Philip projected out. The message seemed clear and unquestioning.

    “Why are you frowning? Is something the matter?”

    I blinked rapidly, shaking my head forcing a laugh, “No, no of course not. Nothing is the matter at all my dear, I was simply deep in thought. It is my thinking face.”

    “You think a lot then.” He murmured, I ruffled his hair ruefully ordering him to go and chase his brother. Louis could not run as far or as fast as his siblings, he was smaller and ran out of breath quicker. He toddled over to me after a while of chasing about and I bent down so I could hug him tightly.

    “Are you alright my love?” I asked.

    “Just out of breath,” He pouted grumpily. “I wish I could run longer without tiring.”

    I raised my eyebrows, squeezing his small shoulder. “I know but you are blessed with brains, Louis…And besides, you like locks do you not?” He nodded eagerly and I beamed down at him. “And when will you need to run to a lock? You will not." He began to protest immediately but I cut sharply over the top. “Never mind never mind Louis. We have to make the best out of a bad situation. That is the way it has to be sometimes, yes? Things try to pull us down but we are stronger than those things. You, my boy are stronger than your weakness. Ok?” He nodded and I pulled him to me so I could kiss his forehead. “Good boy.”

    Agate came over, accompanied by her boys who were a few years older than my own children, a bit too old to be joining in with their games which were a shame. They were the becoming age of politics and aristocratic manipulation. “Morning,” Agate squeezed my arm. She stood next to me, both of us watching as the children played on the lawn. The breeze ruffled our large skirts, mine was a glorious red while hers was more of a pastel shade of blue. Two roses, no thorns, just two roses that took on the world together day after day. I reached out, looping my arm through hers as a sign of solidarity.

    She asked me after a while, what I planned on doing about the lies. I raised my shoulders, “I will have to ignore them. They are my people not the other way around. If we pretend that this little glitch did not happen we can just carry on as normal. I think that would be the wisest way forward.” She said nothing, the uneasy silence that swirled around us like scent carried in the wind lingered distastefully.