In French

Chapter Nineteen

    I was pacing in the hazy orange candle light, my long dark hair fluttering slightly behind my back at each pivot. Already dressed in my night shift I sat heavily upon my bed livid until I could bare it no longer so took to pacing. How could he treat me in such a way? So callous! So cold.

    I was stomping towards the window when I heard the door open and Philip strode in. I did not stop my pacing even when he closed it–after dismissing his men- and stood watching. “What are you doing?”

    I spun as I paced back towards him. “What does it look like?” I changed direction sharply again, returning towards the window.

    “Do not take that tone with me.” He snapped making me flinch. “Stop.” I did not. “Stop!” He bellowed and this time I did.

    I turned, face edged in fury as I glared hard at him. “How dare you speak to me in such a way?” I snarled. “Especially in front of those vicious people. You do not need to add any more smoke to their fire, they do not need you humiliating and embarrassing me in such a way-”

    He stepped forward in a malicious manner making me tense up. “You would be wise to stop yourself right there, My Lady.” He spoke quickly and quietly, voice rattling with rage.

    Quivering with all of this pent up anger my eye actually twitched. “No.” He stared, astounded and furious at the same time. “I will not stop myself. I am your wife and you-”

    “I will not tell you again.”

    “Good because I would not listen even if you did!” I snapped. “I was with our child and I get punished for that? You do not know my pains and you do not know my fears. You have no right to-”

    He lurched forward then, grabbing me sharply by the shoulders although I instinctively fought back, pushing him hard in the chest although he just sprung back, stronger as he shoved into me until he had me pinned against the wall. “I have every right and I do not have to justify anything to you.” My eyes were welling up with tears of fright then, he’d never gotten so angry before and it was terrifying.

    “You are hurting, Philip!” I whined.

    He stared harshly at me. “Good.” He spat but he did loosen his grip slightly all the same. “You forget your place.” I did not say anything but he pulled a horrible face before letting go and taking two or three steps backwards. “I will teach you your place.” His smile was cruel. Tears trickled down onto my cheeks but I did nothing to wipe them away. “How do you greet a King or Dauphin?” I remained motionless. “How?” He barked, I flinched back into the wall.

    “C-Curtsy.” I cleared my throat. He gave me a deliberate look. “Do not treat me in such a way.” He clicked his fingers then gestured down. My lips were trembling as slowly I sunk into a curtsy, bowing my head and everything.

    I started to stand back up but he made a strange noise. “Ah- ah-ah! You rise when I tell you to rise.” I lowered myself back into the uncomfortable position of the curtsy. “Get on your knees.” I raised my head to plead with him but he clicked and gestured for me to lower it again. “Knees now.” Begrudgingly I did so, face still turned to the floor. “Put your hands together and beg for my forgiveness.”

    I would not move. There was no way I would do such a degrading thing. We both waited, warring a silent power struggle. He started to order me again when I spoke, “no, that is quite enough.” I looked up at him. “If you loved me you would not subject me to such cruelty.”

     “Cruelty?” He spat. “Cruelty! You know not of the meaning, woman. Have I made you bleed? Have I tortured you? No. I am merciful but as of yet I have nothing to be merciful about as you have not asked for forgiveness.”