The One I Need | l.p

chapter 23 | never enough

Author's Note:

So, yeah I always end with a 'I'm Alive' message but this note is all about me being inactive. I am very sorry but you know how it is with school.

Lexi walks in, "Yeah! Carolynn, it's been boring just sitting in the flat. Write something about us !!" Liam walks behind her, "Lex, leave Carolynn along. But really, why did you leave it at such a boring note?"

Oh hush you two. I have school. And I do have the power to whatever I want in this book. Don't make me mad or someone will get sick or something of that nature.

*both characters run away from Carolynn and her computer*

Ok enough of that. Let's start this chapter.

Liam

2016 is finally here. Weird to think about. Wow Liam. Way to sound somewhat relatable there. *whispers hate you Carolynn*

Anyways, a little update on the past two months. Loki went home with my mama and pops and I brought Watson with him back home. Jackel and Kai are huge now no longer the small pups they were at the start. Louis found a little bit of happiness finally in his life. Lexi's youtube is skyrocketing up. It's pretty amazing how many people are subscribed to her. 4 million. Crazy. One Direction is on its current hiatus. I found a suit for my wedding. We got our date for the wedding - April 28, 2017 - the day we first EVER met. We've been so busy day and night. We've been in LA for almost a month now. Mom and Pops live with me and Lex for a little bit. Next week, we're back in Brighton.

But I've had my problems lately. Everyone now knows about my past drinking and smoking problem and it sucks. I am working on it but I feel as if I'm not me right now so, new me kinda of. 

Lexi

"Hey Li," my voice echoed through the front hallway as I slipped off your shoes, "I'm home. And I brought us coffee and donuts from that coffee shop you like on fifth." I got no response, but I knew he must be home. Music was blasting from the stereo system Liam had hooked up in the bedroom. All I heard was bass, thumping loud enough to rattle the wooden floors upstairs and down. Climbing the stairs with the tray of coffee balanced in one hand and the paper bag of pastries clutched in the other, I heard strained grunting. The noise was coming from behind our closed bedroom door. With furrowed brows, I slowly pushed my way into the room.

"Hey, what's all the racket up here, babe?" I asked, setting the coffee and donuts on the bedside table. Liam was standing in the center of the room— Shirtless. Sweaty. And completely out of breath as he lifted a set of Dumbbells with each hand. "What are you doing?" I chuckled, stunned to see him working out outside of his regular gym time with Mark Jarvis. But Liam didn't seem the least bit amused. In fact, his face was contorted in more than just concentrated frustration. He looked, truly frustrated— Defeated— Even... Sad. "Liam.?" your voice was quiet, despite the still pounding music filling the room. He turned his back to me, plucking his half empty water bottle from the top of his dresser. Without a word, he took a drink, and mopped some of the sweat from his forehead with a towel slung over a chair.

"Li, talk to me. Please, tell me what's going on," I continued, crossing the room and turning the volume down on the music. "I can tell when something is bothering you. Just talk to me. Tell me what it is." He shrugged, brushing you off when you reached for his arm. "It's nothing. I'm fine. I need a shower, I'm gross," he muttered, stalking away without another glance in your direction. You waited on the bed, legs crossed beneath you like a pretzel while sipping on your vanilla flavored coffee. It seemed like it was taking him ages in the shower, but you knew he just needed time to cool down. Music continued to float through the spacious bedroom as you waited.

Liam's playlist now consisting of a few softer songs you knew well. You smiled contentedly as an Ed Sheeran song came on, reminding you of one of the first dates you had gone on with Liam. I mouthed along to every sentimental word until suddenly the bathroom door swung open and Liam walked out with a towel wrapped snugly around his hips. "Good shower?" I asked, hoping to ease some of the tension that seemed to follow the steam from the small bathroom. Liam gave some sort of a grunt of what I assumed to be confirmation to my question. "You ready to tell me what's got you so upset, now?" My boyfriend stopped, black t-shirt clutched in one hand, the other keeping the towel secure around his waist.

"Lex, it's nothing. Just drop it, okay," he mumbled, slamming the wooden drawer closed with a little too much force and causing a picture frame of the two of you to topple over. I clenched my jaw, returning quietly to his side. Righting the frame on top of his dresser, I forced his gaze to match mine. Touching a hand to his jaw, I gently ran your thumb across his rosy cheek. "Liam James..." I spoke his name hesitantly—Gently.

"Why won't you talk to me? Please, just talk to me." He shook his head, but began to speak. "You'll think I'm being stupid. It's nothing. It doesn't even matter," he said with resolve. Before he could turn away, I placed both hands to his face, gently cupping his cheeks in my palms. "If it's bothering you this much, then it's not stupid," I assured him gently. He let out a long, heavy breath, but I felt him relax a little more into my loving touch as he said,

"I need to lose weight." He shrugged, struggling not to look away as I peered up at him with concerned eyes. "I'm not like the other lads. I mean, this drinking problem made me gain a few pound and the smoking didn't help me. How am I supposed to keep up this figure I have now?! How am I enough for you Lex? Well, I'm not even enough for myself..." Now that he'd begun talking, he was rambling off every insecure thought he'd been bottling up for who knows how long. "Li," I said softly, giving him a sweet smile, "Liam James Payne, you do not need to lose weight. You are enough for me and yourself." He scoffed, once again retreating back inside his closed off shell. He shuffled over to the bed, tossing his gathered clothes onto the mattress. "Hey," I said, following after him without missing a beat, "I'm serious. You're perfect just as you are. I mean, look at you." I eyed him up with a slow trail of my eyes. Moving from his legs, all the way up to his face.

He looked shocked, lips curling slightly at the corners with just the hint of a smile as I blatantly stared at him. Taking his surprise as my opportunity to catch him further off guard, I slid my hands across his naked torso. Moving your fingers with agonizing slowness, I felt every curve and dip of his body. When my hands reached his shoulders, I gave him a light shove to force him back onto the bed. "Lex, wh—what're you..." I stopped him with a shush, smirking brightly down at him. Straddling his waist as he let out a shaky breath, I place your palms flat to his chest. With the very tip of my index finger, I lightly traced the outlines of ink marking his slightly tanned skin. "Your chest is one of my favorite things on you," you whispered, following the shapes you were tracing with your eyes as well, "the black ink against your skin does things to me, Li."

You bent low, capturing his earlobe between your teeth as you mumbled, "dirty, dirty things, Liam." His hands gripped tighter around your waist, holding you in place against his thighs. "I love your tummy," you continued, whispering playfully while moving your hands down gradually. Leaving little peck like kisses on every surface you touched. You felt him shudder underneath you, his breathing becoming irregular, the lower you got. Just as your fingers hooked around the towel, tugging it slowly away from his naked body, he flipped your body over. With a new found twinkle in his brown eyes, he captured your lips in a slow, desperate kiss. "Thank you," he whispered sincerely, kissing the smile now coating your lips with one of his own before resuming the torture you had started for the both of you.