In the Naruto world, where there aren't any cookies (Book 1 of The New Noblesse)

Duckbutt, Kitsune and Bubblegum...what could go wrong?

Walking to my new home, I decided to make a detour to the Academy. As I walked up to it, I saw Naruto being tied up with ropes in the classroom.

Just before Iruka was about to yell at him, I snuck behind him and coughed, effectively attracting his attention. He jumped about a foot. I giggled and undid Naruto's ropes with a flick of my wrist. I like kunai, they help alot in situations like this. When you've been disowned by everybody in your family, you get used to being tied up, and even more used to getting out.

But that's not the point here.

"Iruka-sensei~" I said, leaning on him.

"W-who are you?" he asked. I 'tsked'.

"For a Chuunin you really are dense, aren't you?" I asked, low enough so just he heard. He jumped away from me, and I had a random thought.

"Wait, it's time for random thoughts." I said.

"Uhh...Summoning Jutsu! Gimme my Ipod, pronto!" Nothing happened, and I got a few snickers.

"Please?" My Ipod appeared. O.o

"...Did anyone else see that?" I asked. They nodded.

"Great, then I'm not delusional!" I hugged my Ipod. I walked to the back of the room and sat next to Duckbutt. The only other options were Hinata, someone I didn't recognize and Shikamaru.
I wanted to pick trouble so Hinata and Shikamaru weren't options. One'd be too shy to do it, the other wouldn't even bother with me.

Sasuke was the best choice; he wouldn't pick trouble with me, but picking trouble around him would be hilarious. The fangirls swarmed around us and yelled at me to beat it. Sasuke glared at me. I stuck my tongue out at him.

"I am in no way a fangirl, no worries, but even I feel sorry for you, being surrounded like this." I whispered to him. He nodded slowly, obviously not believing me. Then Sakura came up to me.

"Beat it." she said. I stuck my earphones in my ears and ignored her, listening to Diamonds by Rob Thomas. I hummed the song with my eyes closed.

"What are you doing?" Sakura asked, pulling my Ipod out of my hands. I gave her a death glare. The room went quiet at the tension betwen us.

"No one touches my Ipod. Ever," I told her, grabbing it from her and playing another song.

"My love for my Ipod is more than 19834567682 x 10 times your love for Duckbutt over here. If you touch it, you will lose your hands. If your lucky." I warned, baring my teeth. Yep, Threats work better when your teeth are sharp and you've had lessons from a giant wolf.

She backed off, only to be replaced by Ino.

"She's right though, Sasuke doesn't want you here." she said, being careful not to touch my Ipod. I rolled my eyes at her, then turned to Duckbutt.

"Oi." I said, poking him.

"What?" he said.

"Would you prefer me, who will shut up, to be here, or Ino or Sakura?" I asked. He looked surprised at the question.

"If you'll shut up." he said, making all the fangirls cry. I smirked.

"Thanks Duckbutt." I said.

"Wait, what?" he asked, looking at me.

"Your hair looks like a duck's arse. Sorry, but it had to be said." I shrugged. He glared at me and I grinned.

"Hn." I was kinda wondering when it would come. Iruka then cleared his throat, obviously confused by what just happened.

"Uhh...who're you?" he asked. I stood up.

"I, Iruka-sensei, am a new student and am supposed to start the Academy tomorrow. I know, it's graduation not too long from now, but whatever. I'm joining now, cause Sarutobi's awesome." I said.

I got a few stares, murmurs and a small glare from Iruka.

"Do not speak of the Hokage in that manner." he said in a slightly indignant voice. I pouted.

"But he said that I could." I replied. He looked surprised, but sighed, seemingly gave up, and said nothing of the matter. I shrugged and sat back down.

"But we don't even know your name!" Sakura yelled. I looked at her.

"Do you want to know my name?" I asked her.

"No. I don't want anything to do with you." she said, smirking.

FOR WHY DID YOU ASK ME THIS, THEN?!

Was I supposed to feel hurt? Oh well. I got up and ruffled Naruto's hair, and he looked confused, but I smiled at him before looking to her.

I'd make my dramatic exit now, so I didn't get to create any chaos as I'd wanted. Sitting next to Duckass was a mistake. Shoulda just flipped a few tables instead.

"If you don't want to know me, don't ask. Now shut the hell up and take a seat." I said, jumping out the window, all badass. I just thank God and everyone else up there that this was the ground floor, else that fall might've been nasty.