In the Naruto world, where there aren't any cookies (Book 1 of The New Noblesse)

The Akatsuki --NO LONGER A SIDE STORY--

There I was, ROFLing as Kakuzu did in fact, rip Hidan's head off, oblivious to the weird looks I was getting. As I calmed down, I noticed Kago had been laughing too, I just couldn't hear him over my cackles. I sighed and stood up, dragging Kago down as I went up. He nipped me to which I responded with a playful growl, and we then faced the Akatsuki, who were staring at us. 

"Who the fuck is this bitch?" Hidan asked, still staring at me. 

"I'm Kuroi. And I'm not a bitch. I'm The Bitch. And It's Miss Bitch to you, asshole." I said, staring back at him. The room was quiet until he broke into a grin. 

"I like this bitch!" he said. I grinned. "I like this asshole too!" I said, making Kago cough to cover up a laugh. 

"Where is the other one?" Itachi asked me. I shrugged. 

"You mean Lucifer? He's coming back in a few minutes, no worries." I said, waving the question away noncholantly. That got me a few glares, and I rolled my eyes. 

"Look, if he was gone to get people here to kill you guys, then they would have been here by now." I said, twirling Hidan's sythe in mmy hands. 

"Oi, bitch, where'd you get my sythe?" he asked. I giggled nervously. 

"Uhh...found it?" I said, making Kisame sweatdrop. I grinned and threw the sythe to Hidan and jumped at Kisame. 

"Kisa-chan~ I want a sword like Samehada, can I have him?" I asked, grinning. He stared at me like I was mad. 

"No." he said shortly, and I pouted. 

"Kisa-chan's mean." I said, tearing up. He got flustered, and I couldn't help but go into a fit of giggles, but then he got an irk mark and thumped me on the head. Not fun.

Then, I saw it. The ultimate epic person in the Akatsuki. 

"Mada- Oh, shit." I said, stopping myself. 

"TOBI!!" I said, pouncing on him. 

"Tobi, say it, your catch phrase!" I squealed. 

"T-TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!" he said, hugging me back. I grinned and giggled. 

"Again!"

"TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!" 

"Gyaa, your so cute!" I squealed. 

"But not as cute as Naruto. Not at all. Then again, you are Obi- fuck, I have got to stop slipping up!" I cussed myself, not noticing that Lucifer had merged out of my shadows. 

"You must not curse so much, Master, it's bad for Kago's health." he said, making everyone jump on shock, and go into defensive positions at his arrival. 

"Shut up, Lucifer, it's Hi-chan's  fault." I sulked. The Akatsuki snickered, and I looked around, to see a red Hidan. 

"Hi-chan?" Kisame asked me. I nodded and pointed them out. 

"Hi-chan, Kisa-chan, 'Tachi-kun, Pein-kun, Tobi-kun, Dei-kun, Kuzu-chan, Shiro Zetsu-kun, Kuro Zetsu-kun and Konan." I said, grinning at the end. They stared at me. 

"How do you know our names?" Pein asked, a  kunai at my neck. I smirked. 

"Maybe you have other things to worry about. I said, pointing behind him to where Lucifer had his sword at him neck. The tension on the atmosphere was thick, until I grinned. 

"Now, I know, I know, it's not everyday you meet a girl with a wolf that's taller than you and a tall dude in black who knows your names and suddenly wants to join a criminal organisation, but- damn, that does sound crazy..." I said, earning sighs and sweatdrops. I barked and Lucifer removed his sword, and Pein moved his kunai. I stood up and grinned, and I bowed low to everyone.